Review: What happened when a Harry Styles fangirl saw Dunkirk

Josie Rozenberg-Clarke is Be’s resident Harry Styles fangirl. Sure, at 31 years of age she is very slightly older than him *coughs* nine years *coughs* but that hasn’t stopped her from following his career (and face and hair) since he burst onto the scene as a 16-year-old One Direction heartthrob. Here, she gives her extremely non-biased review of his debut acting role in acclaimed director Christopher Nolan’s war epic Dunkirk.

Warning: mild spoilers ahead.

As soon as it was announced last year that Harry Styles – he of the killer dimples and wonderful hair – had landed his first acting role in upcoming war flick Dunkirk, my friends and I were a little too excited.

Even so, we were fully prepared for his part to be a one-line “These pretzels are making me thirsty!” kind of situation with maybe a minute of screen time tops.

In fact, when the trailer dropped and Harry was seen for 0.2 seconds struggling underwater, we even readied ourselves for his on-screen demise.

In short, when Dunkirk was released, we were here for it. And this week, we took ourselves off to the preview screening with great excitement.

I even wore a One Direction shirt with Harry grinning from his rightful place on my left boob.

Commitment level: extreme.

The film opens with a dark-haired young man running through the streets of Dunkirk, a coastal town in France, trying to avoid enemy fire.

We all clutched each other as we waited for Harry’s glorious face to be revealed.

Oh wait, it’s just his co-star Fionn Whitehead. Carry on then.

The audience quickly learns that there are a heap of (as in, some 400,000) British soldiers marooned on the beach at Dunkirk, with evil Germans surrounding them, leaving them trapped on the sand.

The situation is dire, and poor Fionn can’t even find a spot to go to the toilet without getting shot at by the dastardly Germans.

But a poo seems to be the least of his worries. Number one on this young soldier’s list? Get off this godforsaken beach.

What’s annoying for the Harry Styles fans in the audience is that 95% of the soldiers stranded at Dunkirk have short, dark hair, making it nearly impossible for us to locate our man on the screen. Christopher Nolan, you did that on purpose, you sly dog.

Is that Harold sulking on the beach? Lying bleeding on a stretcher? Being blown away by German air strikes?

Without spoiling anything, Harry soon makes himself seen and his entrance is appropriately full of drama.

Once Harry appeared, my squad and I readied ourselves to hear his one line of dialogue before he swiftly exited stage left.

But it soon transpires that Harry is indeed an integral part of the film’s plot, joining Fionn's character Tommy and another seemingly mute young British Army Private on a mission to get home to England.

Since Nolan (yes I am a serious reviewer who calls directors by their surnames thankyouverymuch) seamlessly weaves several stories together in this film, we’re only treated to a few minutes of Harry at a time before we’re whisked away to join Tom Hardy the fighter pilot somewhere in the air above Dunkirk.

Which isn’t such a bad thing, to be honest.

We also join Oscar winner Mark Rylance and his hot son who frankly looks nothing like him (no offence, Mark!) as they travel to Dunkirk as part of a brave civilian effort to rescue the trapped soldiers.

But back to Harry.

His character, Alex, actually has pretty much the most dialogue in the entire movie.

Since he does have more than one line, the big question is ‘Can this boy even act?’

The short answer, in my obviously unbiased opinion, is YES.

I’m not sure what other non-Harry lovers think, but as someone who has seen many movies in my life I can tell you that the first-time actor does really well in this flick.

Again without spoiling too much, during the film his character goes through a real journey.

We see him wrestle with desperation, anger, confusion and guilt, which is more than some actors have been able to convey in all their movies combined. Sorry Keanu, but it’s true.

For a first-timer whose acting experience thus far has been limited to pretending that he liked Zayn Malik, he really does a magnificent job.

I suppose props should also be given to Nolan, who after all made a pretty bloody good movie.

The intensity builds from the second the film opens and does not let up as we follow various characters’ dangerous efforts to get off the beach.

It’s a war movie without the gore, but it’s a thriller from start to finish, with Hans Zimmer’s searing score only adding to the unbearable suspense.

I clutched my friend's thigh so tightly I almost cut through her femoral artery. Sorry, doll.

RELATED: Harry Styles reveals exactly where his second set of nipples are
RELATED:WATCH: Harry’s heart goes crazy for Ryan Gosling

In fact, I highly recommend everybody sees this incredible true story brought back to life on the big screen, even if you’re not a flag-waving, card-carrying Harry Styles tragic like myself.

People are calling it Nolan’s greatest film, and even – gasp! – without Harry, I can see why.

Want more celebrity, entertainment and lifestyle news? Follow Be on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Instagram