The Bachelor recap episode 4: Keira finally gets a date

Last night we said goodbye to three bachelorettes (whose names we've already forgotten), and even though the number of roses dwindles, the competition is starting to get pretty damn fierce between the girls.

Tonight's ep begins with the woo gals chilling by the pool.

Osher comes in, says his few scripted lines and leaves envelopes for the girls.

Each girl moans about not getting a chance to have one-on-one time with Richie and suspenseful music plays as Sasha reads out Faith's name for a single date.

Keira shoots daggers in her direction. Classic Keira.

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Faith stands alone on the bridge and acts as if it's the most natural scene in the world.

Richie, who by now has mastered driving a speedboat, cruises up to Faith James Bond-style. Just 10 times more awkward. He's licensed to thrill... with bad jokes.

"Is this a yacht?," asked Faith about the boat. OK Faith, you've said enough.

They pull up to a fancy destination where a bartender immediately upstages both of them with his flaring skills.

Back to the mansion and Nikki comes in with another Osher-special envelope announcing a group date to the girls.

Keira, dubbed the "group date groupie" (LOLZ) is included and is (predictably) livid.

"I had literally just gotten over another [group date] emotionally," she whined.

#firstworldprobs

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Richie and Faith strip down to their swimmers (AKA an excuse for Richie to check out Faith in a bikini).

He then suggests they play a ball game but it's less game playing more groping and we're starting to get uncomfortable.

Time for some poolside banter but nothing interesting is said.

Blah blah blah. Staring into each other's souls. Blah blah blah.

Wet kissing ensues and obviously Richie hands her a rose.

Faith walks into the room full of bachelorettes with a rose and the girls pretend they're happy for her but you can tell they secretly want to kill her. You can't win in this game.

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The girls psych each other out for the group date... which ends up being ballroom dancing lessons.

"I twerk, I don't do ballroom dancing," said Noni, our new favourite.

The best dancer will be picked by Richie. She will be the 'belle of the ball' for the single date. *meanwhile feminists everywhere die inside*

"He's mine. He really is mine," said a determined Keira with her crazy eyes in full force.

Each girl takes a turn dancing with Richie but Keira is not-so-quietly confident she'll win.

Lo and behold, she does. Nice pick, producers, we mean, Richie.

"The squeaky wheel gets the grease," says Eliza. Ha-burn.

Nevertheless, Keira acts like the cat who got the cream and so the transformation from Evil Stepmother to Cinderella begins.

Keira struts down the stairs and... we are VERY underwhelmed by her dress.

Outside awaits a horse and carriage and Richie and Keira sail off into the sunset, leaving the Bachie girls dripping with jealousy.

The date starts with ballroom dancing... and ends in ballroom dancing.

We don't even think the pair exchanged two words.

But somehow, Keira wrangled a rose and couldn't wait to show it off to her girls.

Her moment of glory was tinged when Eliza accused her of being "ungrateful" about the single date.

"OMG, you are so f*cking hilarious... that's ridiculous, I can't believe you said that... Why would you try and say this in a moment where I'm feeling really good?" said Keira, super pissed, before storming off.

Amazing.

The girls are dressed for the cocktail party and Keira struts in all dramatic and sassy.

Richie nabs some alone time with Nikki while Alex flaunts her white rose, much to the disgust of the other girls.

"I'm so over the white rose, if I hear abut it again, I'll probably vomit," says Keira.

Eliza confronts Keira who immediately dismisses her. Can't blame a girl for trying. Awkies...

Alex tells the girls she wants to use her white rose for time alone with Richie but Rachael cuts in: "Not before I do."

Damn she's got balls.

The bachelorettes - all bar Keira and Faith - wait anxiously for a rose.

Rachael, Nikki, Olena, Georgia, Sasha, Megan, Eliza, Noni and Alex are all safe.

And finally Kiki is called. Game over Sophie and Marja. Better luck next time.

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