I have a confession: I have binge-listened to Justin Bieber's album Purpose more times than I would l care to admit.
No Pressure but Mark My Words, Biebs' latest offering was just jam-packed full of bangers for the Children. And if you thinks this makes No Sense, and you're asking yourself What Do You Mean? I have to say Sorry, but Trust me, please go back and listen and then I'll Show You. You will Get Used To It and you'll get The Feeling that Life Is Worth Living and you won't be able to wait to put on some Biebs when you have Company.
So when my cousins Megan and Sarah also admitted their dirty little secret we became our own little group of Beliebers, seeing the irony that we are not teenage girls but women in our late 20s/early 30s. The whole thing has been a joke that we've taken entirely too far but we're not ashamed.
Then the tour announcement came, Justin would be bringing his Purpose World Tour to Australia and after joking we would be the oldest people there, we put on our matching Justin Bieber shirts, enjoyed the odd margarita and made the journey to the show.
The show was an experience, so here are five things I learnt from going to a Justin Bieber concert:
1. There is a particular noise and pitch level I had no idea humans were capable of reaching
I'm not kidding, there is a certain decibel level that I didn't know existed and every single girl in that stadium managed to break through that level numerous times throughout the night. I have never heard such high-pitched screaming in my life and in showing my age (and trying to save my hearing) I had to cover my ears multiple times because it hurt to listen to. The sound of thousands of teenage girls screaming when Justin started to sing Boyfriend will forever haunt me.
2. Justin wasn't keen on being there
And he wasn't afraid to show it. I was hoping for peak What Do You Mean Biebs on stage but sadly, this was not delivered. I get he's basically been on this tour for most of his adult life and maybe he's just a little tired but man, show a little enthusiasm. Have some stage presence! Get your shirt off! Justin had only flown into Sydney a couple of hours before the show, so that was good of him to attend. It took a good three or four songs for him to address the 70,000 screaming girls and even then it felt like a chore. There were a couple of points where JB even forgot to sing or didn't bother putting the microphone up to his mouth, so that was disappointing.
3. You will get cautioned for yelling "Get your shirt off" too many times
Security will come, they will eye you off, it's all very awkward. The show was all-ages, so sure, perhaps I should have been more aware of my surroundings and the younger members of the audience, however I was promised a shirtless Bieber and was not delivered a shirtless Bieber. At the very least I would have settled for a dancing in water Bieber but no, nothing. I thought he could have needed some encouragement. Sadly, he did not hear me from our nosebleed seats.
RELATED: Bieber's Summer Heights High rant
4. There were a lot more guys there than I thought there would be
Of course there were guys being good boyfriends and accompanying their girlfriends, but there were also girlfriends who seemed to be doing the right thing by joining their boyfriends. There were two guys in front of us who knew EVERY word to the songs. EVERY word. They even knew the words to Purpose and frankly that's the worst song on the whole album.
5. Justin Bieber charges $100 for a hoodie
And I could not believe it. I was shocked. I felt personally victimized by Bieber's merch. Absolutely not happening. It could have been minus 10 degrees and I would have refused to have bought that hoodie.There were also options of a $50 beanie or $50 t-shirt and honestly no one has time for this type of daylight robbery. I can only assume that the hoodie also comes with a one-on-one date with Justin because there is no justification for that price tag. However, despite my personal feelings towards the price, this didn't seem to stop anyone from buying it. I would just like to say that we bought our shirts from Jay Jays and it was three for two and you just can't go past that type of deal.