Shelter’s hilariously honest adoption ad for ‘b**tard' cat

Looking to adopt a cat? Don’t mind getting bitten, scratched, dominated and destroyed by your feline friend? We’ve found the cat for you.

Pet adoption agency Cats of Melbourne has posted a hilarious adoption ad for one of their moggys, known as Mr Biggles.

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Rather than beating around the bush and talking up a cute, fluffy ball of love, the Facebook ad pulls no punches when it comes to the two-year-old’s personality.

“Mr Biggles (also known as Lord Bigglesworth) is an utter utter utter b**tard,” the ad reveals.

“He looks gorgeous with his slinky shiny black fur and big yellow eyes... but beware. If he doesn't like what you're doing he will give you a nip! Sometimes he likes to swipe at your feet too. It just depends on what he can reach at the time.”

Going on to describe Mr Biggles as a “despot and dictator”, those wanting to shower him with love best watch out for the warning signs of a swishing tail and dark eyes that preempt him using you as a scratching pole.

Charming.

But the feisty tomcat isn’t all bites and b**tardry - he does have a soft side.

“He plays with kittens and actually does love a cuddle from time to time. He loves to be involved with what you're doing and loves to have a chat, he will respond if you talk to him,” the ad reveals.

“While he's not a fan of being picked up, likes a pat and cuddle from time to time and even permits kisses on his shiny black head if he's feeling mellow.”

Mr Biggles’ ad has since gone viral, with the feline cashing in on his fame with his own website.

Fingers crossed he finds a home!

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