Five first date mistakes you should never make

When it comes to first dates, there are often a lot of nerves involved.

The usual questions circle through your head; what will you say, what will you wear, how will you get out of an awkward situation – the list goes on.

While we can’t tell you how a date will go, we’ve picked the brains of an expert to work out what the most common first date mistakes people make are.

From jumping too quickly to conclusions, to trying to be a walking talking Instagram page, eHarmony’s dating and relationship expert Sharon Draper shares her top five things you should definitely avoid doing.

Asking too many questions in a row

This is something we’re sure many people have a dilemma over – you don’t want to be talking about yourself the whole time, but you also don’t want to bombard your date with questions either.

But firing off a long list of questions can be intimidating for the person sitting opposite you.

“You need to make sure you don’t grill someone,” Sharon told Yahoo Lifestyle.

“It’s pretty much like you’re doing a questionnaire and that person’s not going to feel comfortable, they’re going to feel put on the spot.”

In terms of the questions that are always good to ask, Sharon recommends focusing on the person’s interests and letting the conversation flow from there.

She’s not against having some preprepared questions in your back pocket, but suggests you mix them up a little for every date.

“Don’t have a set of generic questions you’re asking on every first date because that can also get quite monotonous for you,” she explained.

“Try to tailor the conversation/questions to the person you’re with because it’ll show you are interested and keen, and it’ll also help you stand out.

“Being able to hold space and actively listen to what the other person is saying and be able to relay conversation back to your date is really important.”

Being judgemental

It’s a fact of life, no one is going to agree on everything, and everyone has different opinions on certain topics, but one thing Sharon recommends reining in is judgement.

“It’s important to really be open minded and non-judgemental to other people,” Sharon said. “A turn off would be someone who is adamant and quite judgemental when it comes to stereotypes.”

Keep things light-hearted and fun – you’ll be sure to have a killer time.

Diving into no-go topics

While you do want to keep conversation flowing and find out if you’re compatible with your date, there are some topics Sharon suggests steering clear of when you’re meeting someone for the first time.

“Perhaps avoid political topics which can open up some serious debates isn’t the best for a first date,” she explained.

“Although it’s important to work out how compatible you are based on your values, it’s also a bit tricky if you launch into full-on political views.”

The relationship expert recognises it is important to delve into this eventually, but just not on your very first date.

Trying to be perfect

In the age of social media, we’re able to put the best parts of our lives out there and often make them look more perfect than they actually are.

However, Sharon insists that doing the same thing in real life is actually a major ‘turn off’.

“Often people try to come off as someone who’s perfect, but that’s a turn off in itself,” she said.

“People want to see someone who is real in this day and age.

“Especially with everything on social media and online everything is so superficial and from what I’m seeing, people are craving realness more and more.”

Break down that Instagram filter barrier and just be yourself!

Being a closed book

You’re not exactly going to get through your entire life story and divulge your deepest darkest secrets on a first date, but it’s important to not be a closed book.

Sharon explains it’s good so “show some vulnerability” as it’ll help your date connect to you on a more personal level.

“A lot of people tend to have their guard up because they don’t want to be hurt and they don’t know what they’re going into but if you lay some of your cards out it’s a great way to form a connection,” she said.

Plus if your date isn’t comfortable with your vulnerability, then you’re cutting your losses.

So, there you go folks, now you have this vital information at your fingertips, give that special someone a text to meet up – you never know what could happen.

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