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Woman live tweets horrible first date
A woman has live tweeted what could possibly be the most cringeworthy and horrible first date we've ever been able to virtually eavesdrop.
UK author Clare Mackintosh, lucked out when she was out at a restaurant and ended up seated next to a couple - in their late 20s - on what appeared to be a first date.
Although it eventually became clear that they had known each other for a while - which made the fact that she remained sitting at the table despite everything even more shocking. (At least to Claire and the hundreds of people that have now followed the thread.)
I am listening to a first date at the next table, and guys: it is EXCRUCIATING.
— Clare Mackintosh (@claremackint0sh) March 20, 2018
Him: did you think you’d fancy me?
Her: well...
Him: answer the fucking question *laughs*
Her: *laughs* I don’t know
Him: because I thought you were quite pretty. Not perfect, but ok, you know?— Clare Mackintosh (@claremackint0sh) March 20, 2018
Once the date gets underway, it takes Clare less than two minutes to tell the woman to run away now - in capital letters - but things were already going downhill and fast.
RUN AWAY NOW
— Clare Mackintosh (@claremackint0sh) March 20, 2018
Him: when I want something, I go for it, you know?
Her: (unconvincingly) yeah, me too
Him: and I want you. Bear in mind I’ve owned my own company for 12 years (wtf does that have to do with anything?)
Her: and I respect that.— Clare Mackintosh (@claremackint0sh) March 20, 2018
Him: last time I met you I thought you were semi-attractive, now I think you’re attractive.
Her: *laughs* (WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING? THAT’S HORRIBLE)
Him: the demon in me wants to sleep with you.
🙈— Clare Mackintosh (@claremackint0sh) March 20, 2018
She desperately wants to take a photo of the couple, but decided that would be taking it a little too far. But thankfully she does take the time to describe the pair in detail – for imagination purposes of course.
"He wears a suit (with waist coat) and open neck shirt, she has a black dress with a zip at the back from hem to neck," she writes.
STOP THE PRESS
Him: how long have you been married?— Clare Mackintosh (@claremackint0sh) March 20, 2018
IT GETS WORSE
Him: the last time I had a drink with someone who works for me, I ended up in bed with them
HE’S HER BOSS— Clare Mackintosh (@claremackint0sh) March 20, 2018
Clare does grab a sneaky snap of their table as the pair go out for a cigarette.
(Personally I wouldn’t leave my purse, but...) pic.twitter.com/cSJaNJ2jCU
— Clare Mackintosh (@claremackint0sh) March 20, 2018
As things go on it just gets worse and worse – by worse we mean gross. So much so that Clare even feels she needs to apologise to the twitterverse once they leave together.
They’re back.
Her: do you have a bit of a reputation? (She clearly knows he does)
Him: I think life is there to be experienced (= I like to shag around)— Clare Mackintosh (@claremackint0sh) March 20, 2018
Him: the question is: can you handle it?
(This has literally come out of nowhere)
Her: oh, I can handle it.
HANDLE WHAT?!!!!— Clare Mackintosh (@claremackint0sh) March 20, 2018
He then goes on to declare that they would both like to sleep with each other. Regardless of Neil – maybe her husband? Poor Neil.
Her: we just seem to have a connection, you know? (It’s called WINE)
Him: you’re basically asking if we’re going to have sex. (???)— Clare Mackintosh (@claremackint0sh) March 20, 2018
THEY ARE KISSING
— Clare Mackintosh (@claremackint0sh) March 20, 2018
(Also: he has his hand somewhere he shouldn’t) 🙈
— Clare Mackintosh (@claremackint0sh) March 20, 2018
Twitter: they’ve left together. I’m so sorry 😭
— Clare Mackintosh (@claremackint0sh) March 20, 2018
While the date didn't end well, at least in the eyes of the online universe, Clare's thread has since gone viral.
She is an author after all.
"This has made me laugh so much. How could she not fall for being semi-attractive," one person wrote.
"Story continues next week when she reports him to HR," another quipped.
OMG this has made me laugh so much. How could she not fall for being semi-attractive? Please just sit in cafes and eavesdrop to keep us going between books.
— Kelsey Walker (@KelseyW1967) March 21, 2018
Why are you sorry? Seems to me that these two people ended up exactly where - and with whom - they intended to
— Peter A. Pinto (@peterApinto) March 21, 2018
Story continues next week when she reports him to HR...
— ®️ (@olliereynolds) March 22, 2018
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