Advertisement

The Bachelor recap episode 9: Richie gets blindfolded!

Somehow we have made it to the final 10 girls of The Bachelor. It’s shocking because Richie has been such a drip it’s genuinely surprising we haven’t all fallen asleep more often.

With Keira getting dumped on a single date and Megan refusing a rose and walking out, the show has gotten significantly less interesting.

RELATED: The Bachelor recap episode 8: Richie falls harder for Olena...

RELATED: The Bachelor recap episode 7: The intruders enter the house

Steph and shirtless Richie. Source: Network Ten
Steph and shirtless Richie. Source: Network Ten

The Bach babes sit around reflecting on Keira’s departure. Everyone is happy she’s gone, because everyone agrees she created all the drama in the house. But never fear Osher is here to give the girls a date card! Hopefully it’s something mildly interesting.

There’s only one card so now everyone is talking about who will go on the single date. Noni is the only original who hasn’t gotten a single date. Even the newbies have had a single date.

Annnnnnnd Noni is still the only original not to have a single date because Steph, one of the intruders, is going on the date. Noni threatens her. I think Noni is overreacting.

Alex tries to justify the date by saying Steph is just “one of the boys” and she doesn’t see a future for Steph and Richie. Alex is also very delusional by this point in time.

Steph wants to “dig a bit deeper” and find out more about Richie. Girlfriend, you’ll be digging for a while. A really, really, long while.

RELATED: The Bachelor recap episode 6: The girls battle it out for Richie

RELATED: The Bachelor recap episode 5: Baby on board!

Richie arrives on a jetski. Because why not right? He’s picked up dates on just about every other vehicle, why not a jetski. He says something about loving engines, awkwardly laughs, tells Steph she looks beautiful, awkwardly laughs and says something else not important.

They’re actually having a conversation. This is interesting. Oh no never mind, that didn’t last long, they’re on the jetski now. Because so many great love stories have started on a jetski and this is one of them.

Also it’s a prerequisite for Richie to be A) shirtless on all his first dates and B) to see his potential girlfriend in a bikini on their first date.

“I couldn’t see Steph but I could tell she was grinning from ear to ear”. Richie has just revealed he has eyes in the back of his head.

Richie has now taken Steph to a room. This room has wine and a fire and they’re talking about their feelings. So there’s that. But in a standard date move, Richie says she’s beautiful and whips out a rose. Shooockkkking.

There’s no pash though, which is a first for a Richie date. How will be cope.

Alex's sickening display. Source: Network Ten
Alex's sickening display. Source: Network Ten

Everyone is going on the group date this week and all the girls are intimindated by a woman who standing next to Richie and Osher.

They’re doing a compatibility test with a relationship expert. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. This should be good.

They’re doing some multiple choice test where the first five babes to reach Richie with their answers go to the next round. Rachael and Steph are the first two. Then Alex, which is no surprise because she’s a bit mental and is joined by Kiki and Faith.

“The touch test” is next and I’m very sure it is as suss as it sounds. The top five get to touch a blindfolded Richie… This is taking a very unexpected turn. They can’t talk to him, they can only touch him.

Alex is grinning from ear to ear at the prospect of touching an un-expecting Richie but also is also a little (a lot) cray cray so we shouldn’t be surprised.

Girls love ice cream. Source: Network Ten
Girls love ice cream. Source: Network Ten

Meanwhile, the losers of the compatibility test are going to be watching all the touching fun from inside the mansion.

And after some very obvious product placement by Extra, Faith is the first to touch Richie. She goes from waltzing with him to spinning him around to give him a massage. Faith literally has no idea what to do with a blindfolded person.

Steph is next and she is very awkward. Kiki rubs her boobs against him, Rachael is weird about it too. Meanwhile this isn’t Alex’s first time using a blindfold and is making everyone throw up in their mouths with her little show.

All the girls in the room finally see how in love Alex is with Richie. You can see it in her crazy eyes. Nikki is in shock. Seeing Alex’s intense display has left her mute.

Faith and Alex get through to round three which will see Richie drive a golf buggy blindfolded and the girls have to navigate him through the course. Did the producers not think of OH&S this season?

All the girls are watching now and want Alex to screw up so Faith will win the one-on-one time. Everyone is super pissed at her touchy-feely display.

Nikki realising Richie dates other girls. Source: Network Ten
Nikki realising Richie dates other girls. Source: Network Ten

Faith kills the obstacle course and the rest of the girls cheer super loudly hoping to make Alex feel as uncomfortable as made them. And Faith wins! She’s off for some one-on-on time that apparently just involves ice cream.

Now Richie is asking if Faith is moving to Perth and how many kids they’ll have and it’s very full on and then in typical Richie form, he roses Faith and then pashes her. And what a pash it is.

COCKTAIL PARTY TIME!

Richie takes Kiki away for some solo time while Alex froths over how “good” Richie looks. It’s gross. Alex is also showing off how needy she is and wants Richie to whisk her away.

And then her wish actually comes true, with Richie coming along with a white rose to take her to Bachelor Mansion Sex Room. They talk about Alex’s son, so that’s nice.

Rachael and Richie are having some solo time now. She’s happy to have escaped the other girls. Is Richie a bit drunk tonight? He seems more enthusiastic than usual. He tells Rachael that she’s not a girl, she’s a woman and he likes that. So he’s definitely drunk.

Alex cried. Because she always cries. Source: Network Ten
Alex cried. Because she always cries. Source: Network Ten

Because we can’t have a cocktail party without Alex crying, Alex is crying. Rachael questioned why Alex was on the show when she had a son. Rachael is a low-key bitch. We’ve just been too busy with Keira to notice.

More of Osher’s math skills are on display at the rose ceremony, with two girls with a rose already there are only six roses for eight girls. THAT’S RIGHT. DOUBLE ELIMINATION PEOPLE!!

Alex is first to get a rose. Probably because she cried at the cocktail party, her tears are good luck charms.

As everyone else gets a rose, only Noni and two of the newbies – the chipmunk and the Rachael look-a-like - are left to fight it out for one rose.

AND SARAH (AKA the chipmunk) gets the rose. Noni and the look-a-like are out. Noni is reasonably upset but we all kind of saw it coming, I mean she never got a date.

Her heart is bacon.

Want more celebrity, entertainment and lifestyle news? Follow Be on Facebook,Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and Instagram