The Bachelor recap episode 10: Things get sickly sweet in a chocolate bath

After Noni and some girl that looks like Rachael got the boot last night, we’re finally down to the final eight. Who will Richie date tonight?! How crazy will Alex be?! Who will cry at the cocktail party night?! So many questions and only an hour to find answers.

As usual, Osher and flawless hair stroll in with a date card. He tries to jokes that he doesn’t have good news, but Osher is a fibber and hands over the card.

“Let’s take the plunge!” the date card reads. Apparently Alex is off to go drink plunger coffee with Richie. How romantic. Let’s hope there’s a lot less face sucking/eating compared to their first date.

Nikki says Alex is a threat and thinks something is going on between her and Richie she doesn’t know about… Sooooo… This is awkward. Babes, that’s the point of the show.

Richie picks Alex up in a Ferrari. Alex is impressed because she thinks Richie actually owns the car. Man she is going to be disappointed.

“It has this sexy purr kind of sound” I’m not sure if Alex is talking about the car or Richie. Meanwhile Richie is more interested in the car than Alex. He’s going to be a cigarette after his time in that car.

They arrive at some manor and Richie says he has a “delicious surprise” so I’m not sure what is going to happen.

“I find chocolate incredibly romantic” Richie says as they enter a kitchen filled with Lindt chocolate. More clever product placement. They’re making chocolate on this date.

While the Lindt chocolatier does all the hard work, Alex and Richie decide that’ it’s the perfect time to get into a chocolate food fight. The chocolatier does not look impressed.

Anyway now they have to make chocolate flavours that represent each other and I can only assume Alex will make hers plain to represent Richie because he is boring AF.

Back with at the Bachie Babes Mansion a group date is announced. Pretty much everyone is going but Rachael is annoyed that Alex is going on it after also going on a single date because Rachael is a mega bitch.

Richie and Alex are now going to have a chocolate bath. I… I don’t know WHY you would want to bathe in chocolate. Can you imagine how long it would take to get chocolate out of EVERY place?

Yeah that’s not romantic Richie, that’s how you get ants.

After a sickening display in the chocolate bath and some intense kissing Richie whips out a chocolate dipped rose. I still don’t know why you would want to take a chocolate bath.

On the group date the girls arrive to find Richie in a kilt. It’s very strange. Oh wait, not that strange, he just wants them to take part in the Highland Games.

I think this is to celebrate his Scottish heritage, which we have not heard one thing about prior to this moment.

The girls are spilt into two teams and are forced to wear much shorter versions of kilts.

First up is log throwing and Richie wins, which seems kind of rigged. Now they have to throw a bag of hay… What… Is…. Happening.

Richie says he’s “quietly confident” he is going to win because he is a man and men are strong and women are weak. At least he’s true to his 1950s BS. However in a humourous twist, he loses.

Next up a delicious haggis eating competition. Yummy! Instantly everyone gags.“It smelt like a devil’s armpit” HOW WOULD RICHIE KNOW THIS.

The girls are given five minutes to eat as much as possible. They are literally stuffing it into their faces. Frankly I’m impressed no one has thrown up yet although Alex looks close.

Now they’re going to a Scottish party or a “Highland Hoedown” as Richie likes to call it.

As they all dance along Richie dances straight out the door with Sarah. Alex is very up-set.

Sarah is sweet, but she sounds like a chipmunk as she tries and thinks of her relationship deal breakers. This was extremely pointless one-on-one time because nothing happened because Sarah turned mute.

COCKTAIL PARTY TIME!

Sarah finds the ability to speak but is still unable to tell Kiki her deal breakers. Maybe she just doesn’t have any?

Richie steals Kiki away while the other girls talk about their emotions. Next up, Olena gets some quality time with Richie and she tells him they’re not on the same page.

This is very awkward and it’s never a good sign when someone describes your relationship as “two steps forward, one step back”. Much like Sarah and Richie’s conversation, his talk with Olena ends just as weirdly.

Rose ceremony! As usual all the girls are paranoid that they’re not going to get a rose and only one of them are right as Osher confidently states that since Alex already has a rose there are seven girls and only six roses.

Rachael and Sarah are the final two without a rose but ultimately he picks Rachael leaving the newbie to pack her bags and head home.

Until next week!

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