David Letterman has reportedly revealed that he fell into a deep depression after his adultery and blackmail scandal.
In a new biography, Letterman: The Last Giant of Late Night, obtained by People magazine, the former TV host is quoted as saying that he felt like he was "in hell" when his affair with assistant Stephanie Birkitt was exposed.
In 2009, CBS Producer Robert Halderman "came across a diary that proved the affair", according to People. He then attempted to blackmail David for $2.6 million to keep him from turning the revelation into a screenplay.
The new biography, written by New York Times reporter Jason Zinoman, reveals the emotional toll David went through at the time.
According to People, an excerpt from the book says the 70-year-old feared he’d lost his family.
“It was akin to having killed your family in a car crash. It was like that to me,” David said, according to Zinoman. “I was afraid my family was gone.”
According to the author, David also revealed that he'd frequently turn to his staff as a way to "deal with his personal life."
"I was looking for a refuge. Whether they knew it or not, [my staffers] were being used to support me,” the star is quoted as saying. "I didn't want to go outside. Outside I was scared. Scared as I've ever been in my life. The show was endlessly helpful.'"
David confessed his affair to his viewers on-air in 2009, saying: “I have had sex with women who work for me.”
But despite his unfaithfulness his wife Regina stuck by him, and the pair are still married.