Patsy: "It's a miracle that I can walk at all."
Edina: “All my clothes have stretch marks, darling.”
Eddy: “We'll go on public transport, Pats."
Patsy: "Are you mad? I've got nothing to wear on public transport.”
Edina: “I mean, you know, the older you get, the more frightening life is.”
Eddie's personal assistant Bubbles: “Ooo... Bear with me, see, I am hopeless with names, faces and people.”
Patsy: “Whatever I choose is cool because I am cool.”
Eddy: "There must be a moment about a week after death when those women achieve the figure they desire"
Eddie: "I've been to paradise but I've never been to me."
Eddy: “Quick shower, quick shower… Wash and go. Sandpaper, exfoliant, cellulite breakdown, tone and perm, auto-bronzer and birch twigs! Shall I have soap? No, no soap.”
Bubble: "Oh, the magazine called for you, Patsy. They need some decisions about this month's cover."
Patsy: "Oh, really? Whatever can they need to know? I mean, it's the same every month: a model in make-up with a vacant look on her face... "
Patsy: ”Darling, if you want to talk bollocks and discover the meaning of life, you're better off downing a bottle of whiskey. At least that way, you're unconscious by the time you start to take yourself seriously."