8 things no-one tells you about planning a wedding

Kate Moffatt

Updated 19 July 2016 at 1:35 am

With my wedding fast approaching in three months, I've learnt a few crucial things during the planning process.

Here are eight things I now know to be true....

It’s not about you
You know how everyone says the wedding is all about the bride? It’s not. Your wedding is about everyone BUT you. Write this down, commit it to memory. The sooner you park this preconceived notion at the door, the easier your life will be.

Bridal shops are not for the faint-hearted
It’s all fun and games trying the dresses on right? Not so fast: in reality, you'll find yourself squished into a teeny fitting room while the sales assistant laments your small chest size and tries to stick chicken fillets into an otherwise acceptable looking dress. Repeat at multiple bridal stores.

It doesn’t pay to be the “chilled out” bride
You know the one – she’s unphased by much, let alone planning a wedding. But apparently, it’s these brides you have to watch out for. So when I played the “planning a wedding is so fun and not at all stressful” card to my hairdresser, she warned me things wouldn’t end well. Two weeks later I ended up crying on a park bench after mixing up some accommodation details.

Other people’s issues will invariably be projected on you
You’ll be surprised how many people come out of the woodwork with issues related to your wedding. Some will think you’re crazy for spending money on such a “frivolous” day. Some will lament the fact that their own partners haven’t proposed. Others will tell you they hate weddings/can’t believe you’re not having bridesmaids/wearing a veil etc etc. Basically you will be a magnet for issues: have tissues ready at all times.

Get used to having no money
Even the most hardened budgeters are defeated by weddings. It doesn’t matter how many times your fiancé says, “this is our budget and we can’t possibly go over it”, you will inevitably need to take out a loan. And it won’t even be for things that seem over the top. It’ll just be used to, you know, feed and water 80 guests.

You will become an emotional wreck
Work won’t phase you. The wedding won’t phase you. But that ad for the new Finding Dory movie – who knew a small fish could have such an effect? Expect tears when you least expect it, and then refer back to point number 3.

When all else fails, play the honeymoon card
My fiance’s eyes glaze over whenever I mention the word ‘flowers’. But when I change topics to the honeymoon, it’s a different story. If your partner is wedding’ed out, I recommend following up terms like ‘suit fitting’ and ‘floral arrangements’ with honeymoon acronyms such as ‘mojitos in Mexico’ and ‘cigars in Cuba’.

Despite all the stress, remember the end-game
The reason you’re having a wedding in the first place is to marry the love of your life – and at the end of the day, you’re not going to remember much from the actual event anyway (so I’ve been told). So, savour the planning now!

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