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The secret to a failsafe Val day

He's not just Fitzy and Wippa's newsreader or a panellist for The Morning Show, FOX Sports, and theABC – Matt de Groot is also Be's newest columnist. He'll be taking us on a deep dive into the world of dating and relationships... from a guy's perspective.

People, I’ve come up with a very simple relationship hack for you.

Valentine’s Day is two weeks away. It’s on the same date every year. A lot of people either forget or get overwhelmed by the implications of that day but in reality, the answer is really simple: Start arranging your date night plans now and see your credit points multiplied.

Taylor Swift enjoyed the perks of love in the movie, Valentines Day. Source: Warner Bros
Taylor Swift enjoyed the perks of love in the movie, Valentines Day. Source: Warner Bros

Nothing frustrates me more than watching men, and women, mess up this very easy to navigate day, when it only takes a small amount of forethought and action to be hailed a hero.

Now, I’m a romantic, so if anything I need to reign it in on the day, but it’s my experience that girls’ expectations of us are pretty low, and so it doesn’t actually take much to win their praise.

It doesn’t matter what you think of this obviously commercialised day, as no amount of rallying against it will stop if from dominating your every corner on the day, so why not just accept it?! Is it really that bad to be nudged in the direction of being a little bit more romantic for one whole day?

Matt recently became engaged to his long-term girlfriend. Source: Instagram
Matt recently became engaged to his long-term girlfriend. Source: Instagram

It’s also pointless examining why it’s traditionally considered the 'man’s' job to make the plans on this ‘couple’ day, because it is, so move on.

Many people give it the ‘Every day is Valentine’s Day’ treatment – but let me stop you right there. It doesn’t matter how decent a person you are, it just absolutely isn’t Valentine’s Day for her every day with you.

I also hear, ‘Oh we don’t do Valentine’s Day, we don’t believe in it.’

While your S/O may try to persuade you otherwise, Valentines Day matters. Source: Warner Bros
While your S/O may try to persuade you otherwise, Valentines Day matters. Source: Warner Bros

Look in the mirror and decide who probably drove that into reality. Is it possible that’s where you have both landed after YOU showed no tangible interest the day, and rather than rail against it, someone sacraficed and just kind of accepted it?

Is it possible that even if she was apathetic about the day, if you DID get your S/O flowers, or take them for dinner, or do both, that they wouldn’t genuinely appreciate it?

And then the big one: ‘They said they didn’t want to do anything this year.’

Always the romantic, Matt and his fiancè celebrate their love on the regular. Source: Instagram
Always the romantic, Matt and his fiancè celebrate their love on the regular. Source: Instagram

If you hear these words, DO NOT BELIEVE THEM. THEY ARE A TRAP. EVEN IF THEY DON’T THINK THEY ARE TRAPPING YOU. YOU ARE BEING TRAPPED.

I have seen firsthand unsuspecting guys walk into their home on Valentine’s Day afternoon only to be greeted with frustration, sadness - or worse, quiet disappointment - that these words had been taken literally.

They don’t mean it. Even if they think they’re being honest, what they’re really saying is, ‘The bar of expectation is so low, it’s just easier not to create false hope; but if you do fail to do anything you’ve delivered even less than my nil expectation. And that sucks.’

They’re not saying deliver the world, they’re just saying do SOMETHING.

So, do something in advance and get the most mileage out of the gesture.

Chocolate? Flowers? Jewellery? Women don't discriminate when it comes to gifts. Source: Buena Vista Pictures
Chocolate? Flowers? Jewellery? Women don't discriminate when it comes to gifts. Source: Buena Vista Pictures

Relationships are all about doing the little bit to stay ahead of the curve of expectation, and not scrambling to get back on par. And V-Day is an easy one to get ahead.

Let me explain to you why calling a nice restaurant right now is the right thing to do...

A little PDA goes a loooooong way. Source: Instagram
A little PDA goes a loooooong way. Source: Instagram

Firstly, restaurants book out. Everywhere. And so if you call now you will have your pick of the venues around town.

Same with flowers being delivered on the day. They sell out, so secure your delivery now.

I’ve been involved in helping friends scramble to find a restaurant on the night of Valentine’s Day after they took literally her claim their lover didn’t want to do anything that night. It wasn’t fun.

(Thank god Thai joints are always open, and always available.)

Secondly, you can tell her now you’ve have booked something and get two weeks of free Valentine’s Day kudos; don’t limit your gesture to just one night of benefit, ring it out for all it’s worth.

Show some love this Valentines Day. Source: Instagram
Show some love this Valentines Day. Source: Instagram

You can’t benefit from it after the day, but by being prepared and delivering above expectation you absolutely can ride that wave of approval.

Thirdly, you’ll look like a superstar to their friends when the invariable stories start swirling around the office about what, if anything, their partner is planning for Valentine’s Day.

And finally, when your own mates are in a pickle about what to do, you can wash your hands of the stress and hassle, comfortable in the knowledge you’ve got something sorted.

So, people, send this to your lovers, and lovers – start planning.

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