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Breast cancer survivor pens heartfelt letter to Roxy Jacenko

At 37 years old, mother-of-two Lisa Hayden was diagnosed with breast cancer. During her chemotherapy treatment she wrote heartfelt letters to her children, then aged 7 and 9, "in case one day I wasn’t around to say them," she said. Her first book, Letters From The Ironing Board will be published this December. Here Lisa reaches out to Roxy Jacenko following the PR mogul's shock breast cancer diagnosis, sharing uplifting words of support, from one courageous mum to another...

Dear Roxy

12 years ago I was your age. I had a gorgeous little girl and a cute little boy. And breast cancer.

Shortly after news broke of your shock breast cancer diagnosis last week, I watched as the paps pounced and circled your car. You rocked. You put a smile on your face and turned to the world with courage and dignity. True to your formidable form, remaining fierce in the face of adversity. But I’ve been in your shoes before. I’m sure tears were pooling behind those designer sunglasses of yours.

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Lisa Hayden with her young daughter, during her breast cancer treatment. Photo: Supplied
Lisa Hayden with her young daughter, during her breast cancer treatment. Photo: Supplied

We haven’t met but we're part of the reluctant sisterhood. I wanted to share this heartfelt advice to you, from one mum to another.

And to all women battling this horrific disease…

Roxy Jacenko and her two children, Hunter and Pixie. Photo: Instagram
Roxy Jacenko and her two children, Hunter and Pixie. Photo: Instagram

I can see you have an incredible work ethic. You don’t run a successful string of companies unless you do.

Launches and emails are non-stop, and that’s what makes the business world go round. Normally I’d air punch and tell you to keep going girl!

But now I'd like to share some advice that just might help.

Breast cancer is a club that none of us want to belong to, but more of us are surviving.

Take some time to go with the flow and step off the treadmill for a while. Now is the time to focus on yourself, and your children and just be. Perspective changes everything when cancer comes a knocking.

My surgeons were a bit iffy about my odds but luckily I surprised everybody. There’s a list a mile long about the challenges ahead, but one of the hardest was telling my two young children of my news.

What will you say to Pixie and Hunter when you are feeling vulnerable and terrified at the same time? How will you allow them to live normal lives when ‘normal’ changed one week ago? How do you be mother and protector when at times, you’ll want to climb into bed and stay there for a year or two. Particularly when your number-one man can’t be by your side right now. It’s a tough gig.

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So how did I break the news to little ones when I was diagnosed? Like your children, they were young. I told them my breast was ‘sick’ and needed to come off and that mummy’s blood had some ‘bugs’ in it that the doctors needed to ‘get rid of'. They saw my scar and asked plenty of questions. I used hopeful words they could understand. I told them the medicine would make me feel sick while I was getting better and it would make my hair fall out. We giggled at this and went wig shopping.

Lisa Hayden wearing one of her wigs, with her two children. Photo: Supplied
Lisa Hayden wearing one of her wigs, with her two children. Photo: Supplied

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They wanted to meet my doctors, and see where I had treatment. My two young children had to cope with a sick mum but through the cancer journey, they became independent, resilient, kind people.

Lisa Hayden's two young children, Gretel and Sam. Photo: Supplied
Lisa Hayden's two young children, Gretel and Sam. Photo: Supplied

My kids learned to take nothing for granted and everything on offer. They learned that life has hurdles that just need to be climbed over. They are kick-arse kids and cancer taught them that!

Every mum knows the most important thing in your life is your children.

Kids see the world through their own curious lens; if their world is mostly ok they will be completely ok. But remember they are still just kids. Tell them a little, but not too much. Talk to them when you know what is ahead. Answer all their questions in words they can understand, and keep the conversation hopeful. As I learnt, keep your fears away from them but allow yourself to cry when you need to. Install a lock on your bathroom door for when they don’t need to see your tears.

Roxy Jacenko and her young son, Hunter Curtis. Photo: Instagram
Roxy Jacenko and her young son, Hunter Curtis. Photo: Instagram

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I remember when I needed to retreat from the world and stay in my jammies, reading Marian Keyes novels. Always, being kind to myself.

You’re a rock star, Roxy. Look after you and your kids and let the world turn without you for a while. Keep smelling the sweet roses that are delivered to your door in magnificent bunches. If anyone can show cancer who's boss, it's you.

Roxy Jacenko and Pixie snap a selfie moment. Photo: Instagram
Roxy Jacenko and Pixie snap a selfie moment. Photo: Instagram

Sending you positivity and support. Take this time to look after you and your little ones.

Looking forward to seeing you return when you are ready, wiser, stronger and healthy again.

Love, Lisa x

Lisa Hayden is a breast cancer survivor, wife, mother, motivational speaker and soon-to-be author. She’s also the founder of the blog, Girl At The Ironing Board, which started from the letters of love and wisdom she wrote to her young children during her health battle, “in case I did not survive”. Read her inspiring story at Girl At The Ironing Board

If you have any questions about breast cancer or need more information visit nationalbreastcancerfoundation.com.au



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