What women don't realise about man flu

He's Fitzy and Wippa's newsreader and a TV panellist, and Matt de Groot is also Be's dating 'expert'. Let him take you on a deep dive into the world of relationships... from a guy's perspective.

I had man-flu last week. This is not a joke. I was down – bed-ridden for five days – but mercifully, I survived.

This is my story.

I couldn’t have survived without the thoughts and prayers from friends and family. I let them know of the problem swiftly; with man-flu it’s important to let as many people know as possible.

I also couldn’t have done it without the support of my beautiful girlfriend who provided an endless stream of soup and supportive text messages.

Although if I was to offer her, or any partner, some feedback for the future – perhaps a bit more TLC wouldn’t have gone astray. Just a thought.

I mean, she was wonderful when she was there, but such was her determination to avoid contracting the illness, she made her visits more fleeting than any self-respecting man-flu doctor would probably recommend.

With man-flu the symptoms are as clear as they are severe.

I was suffering from a cripplingly consistent runny nose, a dangerously partial fever, a slight ache in up to four joints, often at the same time, and a near-migraine that could only be contained by over-the-counter grade Panadol.

It was brutal.

I first knew man-flu was coming when I was working on the Saturday afternoon, but I refused to let it knock me down.

As a man, illness doesn’t dictate me, I dictate it.

As it turns out, I didn’t dictate it – and come Sunday evening it had taken full hold. I don’t want to overstate this, but I think I nearly died.

Things were severe; I didn’t even have the strength to call mum and have her tell me she would like to be there to look after me.

See, what women don’t realise is the flu a man gets is not the same as the flu women get. This may seem melodramatic – but it’s not. It’s science science.

The flu we get has not one, but TWO strands. The first strand attacks our physical wellbeing in the aforementioned ways.

The other is a psychological strand. This is the real killer. It’s a moral-bleeding strand that reduces fully-capable, occasionally functional men to an infant-like state. And modern medicine hasn’t come close to developing an anti-dote for this.

Clearly, this is why we require constant care and attention. It’s why we need to have a blanket laid over our cold little feet and our belly rubbed. Why we need juice brought to us and our partners to offer to do nice things, like dress us. And above all why we need to be checked on – constantly.

Just like it takes a village to raise a child, so it takes a village to tackle man-flu. We need all our support networks working in unison to reverse the effects of man-flu and get us back on our feet.

I was lucky, my networks were there for me and now I’m officially a ‘survivor’.

Other men haven’t been so lucky. I have heard stories of men who have gone two, sometimes even three weeks with a sniffle. Those lone warriors are the true heroes.

So next time your husband, boyfriend, male-friend, brother, son, housemate or colleague tells you they have man-flu, probably via a Facebook status, don’t roll your eyes and tell them to toughen-up – the clock is ticking!

The sooner you can let him know you are there for him, and he’ll be ok, and people miss him, and if he needs anything it isn’t a hassle, and what? He needs the TV channel changed because he can’t reach the remote? Sure thing.

Then the faster he will go from man-flu to just ‘man.’

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