Hurts So Good

"We don't learn from experience, we learn from our capacity for experience." -Buddha

The January 2006 National Geographic featured a story on recent scientific and medical discoveries related to love. Studies show that the brain chemistry of someone "in love" resembles the brain chemistry of someone with obsessive compulsive disorder. Both show irregular levels of serotonin. Many take Prozac to regulate serotonin levels. Modern medicine has shown that people on Prozac have a hard time finding love and sustaining love. In other words, Prozac kills passion and you gotta have passion to have love. Passion is a lust for a life, a willingness to feel everything love brings your way: pain, gain, highs, lows, happy, sad, good, bad. As Kahlil Gibran said, "For as love shall crown you, so shall he crucify you." Can you handle that?

Something to consider when assessing the health of your love life is your "capacity for experience." Are you willing and able to feel life fully? We all tend to run, flinch, or hide from our struggles and pain. By doing so, we limit our ability to evolve but more importantly, we limit our ability to love. How do you build capacity for experience? Feel intense emotion with grace and courage; stare fear in the eyes; embrace your challenges!

Following are some tips for building your "capacity for experience":

  • 1. Try yoga. A great yoga teacher shares techniques on facing emotion, sensation, and change with grace and courage.

    "You don't do yoga. Yoga is your natural state. What you do are yoga exercises which reveal where you are resisting your natural state." - Sharon Gannon

  • 2. Take a road trip. Grab some great tunes, hop in the car and take a few hours to let the wind whip your air while the tunes free your mind. This a fun way to sit in one place, face yourself, and break thru some barriers.

''"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." - Rumi


  • 3. Journal. There is something inside of every human being that is stronger than the mind. Some call it heart, some call it soul. To let your mind determine your capacity is fooling yourself. Taking time to write out your thoughts, troubles, visions and dreams is an excellent way to free the mind and transcend limitation.

"Argue for your limitations and sure enough, they're yours." - Richard Bach

Please share any tips on how you experience fears, obstacles, and challenges.

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