New mum sparks debate after husband asks her to go back to work

A new mother has blasted her husband online after he asked her to go back to work full-time when her maternity leave comes to an end.

The mum was so furious with her other half that she took to parents’ forum, Mumsnet, to ask if her husband, who earns $96,000 a year (£55,000), was in the wrong.

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She claims she “never really planned” on being a stay at home mum, but when her husband asked their nursery for full-time rates, it became clear he had her future mapped out for her.

The woman, who goes by the name ‘shewhocannotbenamed’ on the site, said she was willing to go back to work two-three days a week but her husband seemed “disappointed” by this.

“I can't even exactly specify why this makes me sad, perhaps makes me feel less like a woman and more like just his mate?,” she wrote online.

“It's especially so as his mother never worked post children and also in the past he had a girlfriend who just chose not to work (no kids or anything) and as far as I understand he was perfectly fine supporting her.”

She said they have considerable savings in the bank so it’s not like they’re desperate for her extra income and considering the cost of childcare “it’s not like I’d be bringing home much anyway whichever option we choose”.

What made things worse for the mum was that a friend came over to their house recently to reveal that his wife is pregnant and her husband started giving him financial advice.

“His mate just said: ‘I'm not worried we have savings and I'd be happy for her to stay home with the baby.’ That just really did it for me,” she wrote.

“How nice that he didn't have some inherent expectation that the wife needs to constantly perform both at home and at work.”

While some of the other mums agreed with her, others said she should talk to her husband and wondered how this hadn’t come up throughout her pregnancy.

“'Perhaps makes me feel less like a woman'. This is very 1953 btw! The womanly thing to do is stay at home with the DC?! Come on,” one commenter said.

“Sounds like your DP is perhaps a little more open minded as to a woman's role in the family!”

“Less like a woman? Because he thinks you should have a job rather than staying at home raising children? How utterly depressing,” another person said.

“I don't get it. Why haven't you had a proper sit down chat about all this?,” another commenter said.

However others were sympathetic to the woman’s dilemma and some were even in the same position as her.

“I don't want to return either. My DP wants me to at least give it a go, so I said I wouldn't work more than two days a week and only short days,” one person said.

“It will be nice to have my own income, but I'm only doing it because of DP. Like a previous poster, he's concerned I will get bored/want more out of life and to keep some continuity of employment.”

“If you can get by on one income, do it. You will never get those years back. Looking after children and a home IS a full time job and one he needs to show you some respect for doing,” another person said.

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