Six secret ingredients for improving your self-esteem

For some people it's easy to come by, but for others not so much.

Self-esteem is all about the way we see ourselves and how we feel we are seen by others. It's crucial to our emotional well-being.

Unfortunately in this day and age it seems harder and harder to be confident in who you are.

Miranda Murray is a Fertility and Life Coach and says self-esteem is simply the idea that you appreciate yourself for who you are - flaws and all.

Here she shares her top six secret ingredients for building self-esteem and holding onto it forever:

Upgrade Your Social Media Newsfeed
"Instead of filling our brains with ‘perfect’ looking women living their ‘perfect’ lives, fill your newsfeed with positive images and inspiration. Find the things that bring you joy to look at, whether that’s beautiful travel destinations, a gorgeous florist or simply some funny cat videos. Stop torturing yourself with the vision of someone else’s happiness and create your own. If the temptation to scroll is too strong and you find yourself deflated, cut down the time you spend on social media altogether."

Practice Positive Self Talk
"If you tell yourself you’re no good, you might actually start to believe it. Instead, practice positive thoughts. You might not be able to jump from the idea of “I am unworthy” to “I am a rockstar” overnight. Instead, try starting with baby steps. You might decide that you can adopt a more neutral idea, such as, “today, I am ok” or a small positive reframe such as “today, I am one step closer to my goals than I was yesterday”. The aim here is to not stay immobile or stuck in a place of negative self talk."

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Let the Negative Feelings Go
"Bearing grudges, becoming bitter and holding tight to negative energy is not good for anyone. It affects how you feel and the relationships you engage in around you. Find some way to process any issues that are weighing you down. Talk to a friend, engage a coach, counsellor or psychologist to talk things over with. Try meditation, yoga or tai chi to find more peace in your days and don’t stay stuck in the past."

Build Your Tribe
"There is no doubt the power of uniting with like-minded individuals can lift you up and remind you that you are not alone. The benefits of surrounding yourself with people who care far outweigh the fear of letting people in. Building a support network before you need them is also a great technique to remember, so you have a team of “buddies” in your “mental first aid kit” should you ever need it. And you just never know who else may be going through something themselves that starting a conversation could help."

Try a random act of kindness
"Write an anonymous compliment to your favourite barista. Bring healthy treats to the reception gals at your yoga studio. Anything goes, no matter how big or small. The key here is to do it with no expectations of gratitude in return and with a “just because” attitude. It feels great to bring a little unexpected joy into someone else’s life. In turn, your soul will get a boost."

Chat with an expert
"It is such a relief to chat with someone who has been there before or someone who is skilled in empathising with what you are going through, and can even offer some strategies to move forward. If you are struggling with self-esteem, speak your thoughts and fears out loud to someone who will listen without judgment, provide you a safe space to discuss your concerns and help you make a plan that is tailored specifically for you. Never be ashamed to ask for help."

If this post has raised any issues for you or if you would like to speak with someone, please contact the Lifeline 24 hour support line on 13 11 14.