Reddit users reveal the tell-tale signs you’re headed for divorce

There’s no doubt about it, all relationships are different. And all relationships are different when they approach their end, too. Remember Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s quietly calm “conscious uncoupling”? A whole lot different to Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s very public split.

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But were there any signs the writing was on the wall for these couples?

When it comes to real-life advice, there’s nothing better than a good old Reddit feed, and lucky for us Reddit divorcees have hit their keyboards, sharing exactly what the red flags were before their relationship ended.

Here’s their tell-tale signs a divorce might be on the cards…

How you disagree

We all know that couple who fight all the time. But according to some, it’s all about how you fight that matters.

“There's no such thing as two people perfect for each other, and how you approach the friction is what either strengthens or eats away at a relationship,” advises Illah. “What's poisonous is contempt and resentment. When you disagree, do you discuss the issue or the person? Is it, 'I want sushi, but you want pizza' or is it, 'You always want sushi, I never get pizza.' Subtle difference, but those little things are so much more important than most people realise.”

The canoe test

A popular one with Reddit users, this is literally the sink or swim test of whether you and your partner can make it.

“We went canoing with a recently engaged couple and not 10 feet from pushing off they had already flipped the canoe and were yelling at each other,” reveals stoopidquestions. “They were both miserable the rest of the trip. At that point we knew they just weren't right for each other. Their marriage wasn't ever all that happy yet lasted 5 years. I really think the canoe-test is a good way to judge a relationship; how well you work together and how you handle inevitable disaster.”

Ignoring the small differences

User jackyl_distorted reveals he and his wife filled out a compatibility survey for their minister, rating how important things were to them before they tied the knot at 21. Their minister asked if they were concerned about their differences and should work on them, but jackyl_distorted and his wife didn’t take the advice seriously. Ten years later and after filing for divorce, the pair found their survey results while packing up the house.

“While our ‘differences in values’ were still pretty minor, everything he'd written made more sense than it had ten years ago,” jackyl_distorted reveals. “We got sad about it for a few minutes, then had divorce sex on the floor, and I regret nothing.”

Someone isn’t speaking up

Marriage is a two-way street, so it makes sense that both people have a say in how your life together plays out.

User latentnyc admits he didn’t realise his wife was internalising her feelings until it was too late.

“My biggest desire was for us to both be happy, and happy with each other, but because her preferences or opinions on many subjects were so hard to drag into the light, I ended up making most decisions on my own,” he reveals. “I'm not saying she was silent, either, we talked about a lot of things and she would point things out, but rarely say this is what I want to (or don't want to) do.”

Sometimes there are no signs

After getting together with his wife when he was 17, user bac0nb0y, now 30, says he thought he’d be with his wife forever.

“She was telling me she loved me and how amazing I was a few days before she told me she was unhappy and might not love me,” he writes.“I still don't honestly understand what happened between the two of us, but I know that I haven't changed. Maybe that's the problem, maybe what she wanted changed. I have no idea.”

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