Why men don’t want to get married

With Valentine’s Day approaching, many long-term couples will have wedding bells ringing though their minds.

But a walk down the aisle isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and a number of men have recently taken to secret-sharing website Whisper, to reveal why they’ll never say “I do”, even if they’re madly in love.

Here are some of their best responses:

Some men just aren't marriage material. Photo: Getty
Some men just aren't marriage material. Photo: Getty

They don’t want to change.

“I’m a 38 year old man. No I don’t want to get married or have kids. I don’t even date a lot, I just love my independence and focusing on making my career great.”

“The reason why I don’t want to get married is because I don’t want a woman to come in and judge the types of things I choose to spend money on. I like to gamble.”

They don’t want to face the actual wedding day.

“As a guy, getting married seems so daunting that I don’t want to ever do it. Women often want things to be perfect for a wedding and that seems so stressful to me.”

“I don’t want to get married. It seems like a big headache. The wedding day is all about the bride… how is that even fair?”

They're afraid of the changes a wedding might bring. Photo: Getty
They're afraid of the changes a wedding might bring. Photo: Getty

They just don’t believe in marriage.

“I don’t want to get married ever. I can see myself being a dad one day, and I do want a family, but without the paperwork.”

“I’m not a religious guy at all, so I don’t see the point in getting married. Not trying to be offensive but it’s just my belief.”

It has bad associations for them.

“I was a child of divorce. My parents made me choose sides and for that reason I won’t be getting married, even if I’m madly in love with my girlfriend.”

“I don’t want to get married because all my friends that do never sleep with their wives anymore. That’s not worth it to me.”

Sometimes just the idea of it is all too much. Photo: Getty
Sometimes just the idea of it is all too much. Photo: Getty

While that last fear may seem like a cliché, there is a little evidence around to back it up.

A study recently quoted by Men’s Health followed close to 3,000 people over six years and surprisingly found that couples who live together outside of marriage were happier than married couples and singles.

Another reason men might shy away from the commitment is that they’re scared of divorce and having to split their money (and any kids!) marriage author Helen Smith tells the Huffington Post.

At the end of the day, everyone is different. Photo: Getty
At the end of the day, everyone is different. Photo: Getty

Not wanting to lose their personal space and have all the things they love confined to the garage or a man cave, is another burning reason men steer clear of marriage, as is the fact that in many cases, they feel like they don’t have to.

Gone are they days when it was taboo to have sex - or god forbid children - outside of wedlock. Modern couples who live together enjoy many of the benefits of marriage without any of the paperwork or the expense of a big wedding.

And of course the matter is by no means one sided, there are also plenty of women who have their reasons for not getting married.

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