Mel Greig: The 'bro-code' decoded...and why boys ignore you

Hold onto your knickers ladies, I’ve been given an insight into the man brain when it comes to picking up in a nightclub – and I’m here to spill all their secrets.

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I met two guys in a bar (no, this doesn’t turn into a dirty joke) and after a free beer or two – it’s funny how effective that can be - they were kind enough to break down the ‘Bro Code’.

Let’s start with a lovely looking lady walking into a club. You know how you can feel all eyes are on you? Well, they are. You are being delightfully looked at, and some guys will be quick to make their move to buy you a drink or say hello.

The guys to watch are actually the ones that take a look and go back to their conversations – these crafty ones have just started their game plan.

You see, according to these two guys, this is the theory: you need to act as though you’re not out to pick up, and you need to ignore the girls you have your eye on and wait for them to approach you.

Their take? If you act too keen as a guy, you’ll end up buying their first few drinks and go home alone. When a girl feels everyone wants her, she’ll wonder why the guy in the corner doesn’t want her and she’ll start doubting herself. Sounds like high-school again doesn’t it?

My take? Gurrrrrllll, you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone. Don’t ever lose that confidence and self-worth, and make that boy come to you.

It really is like high-school but an adult version. Picture the boys on one side and the girls on the other, eye f**king each other and having a Sexual Mexican Standoff until someone can’t handle the pressure and makes the approach.

The secrets continued with these key tricks too:

• Always include the friend in conversation so she doesn’t feel left out.

• Make eye contact during conversation and avoid looking at her boobs.

• Ensure you are holding one drink, not two, and that you are holding it as low as you can.

Let’s dissect that last one. I was gobsmacked. What is the theory behind that? Apparently if a guy is double fisting (holding two drinks) and holding them up near his chest, he’s planning on getting blind and can’t wait to get that booze in his gob. Why would a girl waste time talking to a guy that's going to be too drunk soon to even remember her name? Well played guys, well played.

What you wear is important too apparently, because they still need a challenge. They want you to look sexy classy, not sexy slutty - even though their intention is to just get those clothes off anyway. #makessense #noitdoesnt

And here is the kicker, if no one caves with the Sexual Mexican Standoff, you both go home alone but ‘chuck a few likes’ the next day and wait to see them out again. Sayyyyy whatttt? I’m sorry what is the point of that? Put your arrogance aside and make things happen.

OK ladies, I need you to listen to this and I need you to listen hard. If you are walking into a club to pick up and you’re comfortable with that then use this secret insight to your advantage. But if you are looking for more, don’t you dare be fooled into their manipulative games, you deserve respect and decency and don’t settle for less.

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