Whether you’ve been with a guy for three months or thirteen years, it’s always hard to know to know how long you should wait before moving on.
While you want to give yourself time to get over that person properly, if someone else comes along who catches your eye, you might ask yourself if you should jump straight in or keep your distance?
Be spoke with Rachael Scharrer, founder of DivorceAnswered.com.au, who gave us her top tips for those considering taking the leap and starting a new relationship.
“For some individuals, they have spent years grieving the marriage during the union and visualising life after the marriage ends,” she said.
“While for many others, the separation comes as a complete shock and it takes these people much longer to process the news, grieve the end of the marriage, perhaps try to salvage it before ultimately reaching acceptance and feeling comfortable with their new life chapter.”
Rachael lists four points you need to consider if you think it might be time to start s a new relationship and move on.
The first one is if you are actually open to a new relationship and how you are feeling yourself?
Secondly, how would starting a new relationship affect other people in your life - like your children or your family?
Then she asks you to visualize how the new relationship would pan out in the long run and if you’re actually able to give your all to this new person?
“There is a common saying: ‘it takes 4 years to get over a 4-year marriage’,” she said.
“This means, for as long as you were married, it often takes equally as long to recover from the marriage.
“What we can take from this saying is that we need to give ourselves the space and time, taking away external pressures, to overcome the marriage and move on when we believe that we are ready, whenever that may be.”
She also asks people to be wary of their interest in the new person are and be sure of what they’re looking for from the relationship.
“If you are wanting to move on to just have someone take care of you or pay your bills without making a significant contribution of some sort to the other individual, then the relationship is less likely to work,” she said.
“However, if you are looking for someone to positively contribute to your life and you reciprocate equally, then that mutually beneficial recipe may be more successful.”