This would have to be one of the biggest barriers when it comes to dating - COMMUNICATION.
OMG can’t deal. The expectation between the two parties is often completely different, and twice this has resulted in me not even getting to the first date stage after weeks of banter.
This guy and I have been trying to go on a first date for weeks but it never eventuated because we just couldn’t get the communication right. The first date was organised for a Sunday afternoon and he had to cancel the morning of which is fine, hangovers and other things come up last minute. But I then didn’t hear from him again until the following Thursday.
Why didn’t I contact him? Because boys feel like they need to do the chasing, and they’ll contact us when ‘they’ are ready but the risk they carry with such carefree communication is that we will lose interest as the days of no contact fly past.
So, I finally hear from him on the Thursday and we chat over the next couple of days and he asks if we can catch up for a wine on the Sunday. Please note that no time or location was locked in just "Sunday, let’s catch up" so I try and initiate more contact on the Saturday but don’t push too much. He doesn’t write back. Sunday morning comes by, nothing. Sunday lunch passes too, nothing. 3pm on Sunday I get a text with a time and location for 6pm. I responded that I hadn’t heard from him so I made other plans. Can’t deal. Clearly some guys have no idea what it’s like to be a chick.
A few things wrong with this style of communication.
Firstly: women are planners and organisers. We can’t be told on Friday that we have a date on Sunday and then not hear a single word from you until three hours before your specified date time. We aren’t actually just hanging around the whole weekend with no plans ready, to just slot into whatever time works for you.
Secondly: we need to plan our outfits, shave our legs and nail our hair and makeup. We can’t do this if you text us a time whilst we are in the middle of a movie or shopping session, and then have to race around getting everything done.
Thirdly: it’s all about the anticipation and build up. If we don’t hear from you we start to think you’ve lost interest and this takes away the excitement. Flicking through a quick text on the Saturday night saying "Looking forward to tomorrow, does 3pm work for you? Let’s lock in a location in the morning" - so simple but so effective. #notrocketscience
We get the whole you want to play hard to get, but it gets boring and so does the lack of communication. If you like someone and want to see them, put in a bit of effort. It’s not that hard and if you are genuinely busy, just be honest and say that, because if you leave things unsaid we will just draw our own conclusions and move on. Whatever happened to open and honest communication? #talktous #doingmyheadin #takes5minstotext