Mel Greig: I've been faking it - but I can't anymore

One of my close friendship circles has an epic 10-year history to it, and some of my favourite party moments and work days were with this group.

We all worked at Nova Adelaide together, and have maintained an incredible friendship since then. Half of us are married with children now though, which is a big contrast to our late nights we used to have.

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But on Saturday night something changed and we finally worked out what it was. We’d been faking it.

We still wanted to be the group of crazy 20-year -olds that could party all night and we’d spent the week in the lead up to Kenny’s birthday (one of the girls in the group), convincing ourselves that we could.

The reality? We needed Party Viagra to keep it up or we were heading for a tracksuit party. (Side note: I don’t know if Party Viagra exists, I just made that up… but I’d totally buy some if it is real and if my doctor gave me a script).

Our first error was thinking we should start the night at 7.30pm. You see, too much sitting around just makes the lazy kick in, and you need to be full of energy from the start.

Courtney, Kenny’s sister, was hopeful though, even practicing dance moves in her outfit choices for when we hit the clubs at 4am. Now that I hear that out loud, I laugh. I laugh a lot because that was never going to happen.

Even I had been sucked into our old life, booking a hotel room thinking that I’m going to be out late enough to meet some hot backpacker and do a bit of kissy kissy.

Our second error was made when we went to dinner and our intentions were on the right track - line our stomachs to prepare for the onslaught. We should totally order the 8 course banquet. FML. Two hours later, we were sitting there with bloated bellies and praying to take our pants off. The tracksuit party was looming.

But we all sat there faking it and saying, “Oh my god can’t wait to hit the dancefloor and drink all night, yeah, like so pumped”. No one wanted to look like the party pooper, but in fact we were all thinking about the same thing. I JUST WANT MY TRACKIES.

We finally all cracked at 10.30pm. It was like a round table confession booth and it was the greatest moment.

You see, our lives had changed over the last 10 years and we now had new interests, but the one thing that hadn’t changed was that we were still interested in each other. There are no rules as to what a night out should be, we don’t need to have the pressure to go out all night in order to have a good night.

I mean I won’t lie when I say I miss throwing my token mooning at parties for the entertainment of others, but hearing about my friends’ kids is just as enjoyable and ironically, that night one of our circle friends Inese gave birth to her first child, and THAT is a moment to remember and one we celebrated together.

Don’t get me wrong though, we aren’t boring or turning into nannas. Half the stories that we shared from the single half of the group just aren’t appropriate for public consumption so I’ll do highlights in hashtags and let you fill in the blanks #boobjob #threesome #glassdildo.

I’ve said too much.

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