Ladies, please stop abusing selfie filters

Attention girls who use Facetune: It’s making you look ridiculous.

I don’t target that sentence at girls because I think it makes guys look good, but rather, I couldn’t actually name a single guy I’ve seen use it.

I’m sure some do, and if you’re a male reader and use it, find a mirror – give yourself an upper cut – and stop. But as it stands, it appears to be confined to the realm of women on Instagram.

For the uninitiated (Mum), Facetune is an app that allows you to airbrush your own photo, with reasonably life-like results.

All of a sudden, off-white teeth, bad skin, wrinkles and imperfections are a thing of the past, and in its place is an Insta-ready, glowing version of yourself.

(Put the phone down now, Mum – and stop the download.)

The problem is that it’s also reasonably un-life like. It makes a face look lifeless, emotionless, monotone and downright weird.

I can only presume those who do use it think it looks great – in much the same way people who post photos of themselves with a Snapchat filter think they look adorable and zany. Or people who share photos of their young baby laying, squatting, sitting, sitting again, sitting again, sitting again, and sitting again think the rest of the world cares.

Here are the facts:

Humans aren’t born perfect, so why pretend we are?

Humans are born to age, so why pretend we don’t?

Skin breaks out, so why act like it doesn’t?

Teeth aren’t the colour of a baby rabbit, so why pretend they are?

And not all baby rabbits are white, so why use that as the analogy?

The thing is, no one is being fooled.

You could say, “But models get airbrushed, how is it different?” and indeed they do, but I don’t ever see Victoria Secret Angels in person, so how would I know?

But when a friend Facetunes themselves to within an inch of looking like Tupperware, it tends to be noticed.

And why do it to yourself? OK, say you slap six perfectly Facetuned shots of yourself on Bumble, and secure yourself a drink with some fine lookin’ fella. What next?

Firstly, don’t ever refer to them as "some fine lookin’ fella".

Secondly, when you show up and your face isn’t the smooth and sculpted version you’ve sold it as, their natural reaction will be negative. And is that the first reaction you want?

We call that "false advertising".

NO ONE has perfect skin. And no one cares. Acting like you do just makes the picture look silly and you look insecure.

So, just back yourself. Trust that people like you for the way you look, not the way you think you should, and if they don’t? They have the issue. Not you.

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