He's not just Fitzy and Wippa's newsreader or a panellist for The Morning Show, FOX Sports, and the ABC – Matt de Groot is also Be's newest columnist. He'll be taking us on a deep dive into the world of dating and relationships... from a guy's perspective.
Men, enough is enough.
It’s time to stand up and call-out those of us whose appalling behaviour is giving men a bad name. They are men who ‘Boomerang.’
For the uninitiated, a ‘Boomerang’ is a short burst photo that loops an action or moment. It’s grown in popularity since Instagram added it to their camera feature about 2 years ago.
Boomerangs seem to come into their own during a night out, or even better an arvo drinking session, with a group of girls taking a boomerang of their champagne glasses cheers-ing.
In fact any glass of alcohol clinking together makes for good Boomerang fare.
Another popular one is the reverse heel flick up while standing in a group, perhaps at the races, or the sassy/cute side-on shoulder shrug.
It’s all great stuff.
I place Boomerangs in the same category as shoes and handbags; they are for women by women.
It needs to be said once and it needs to be said straight - real men don’t Boomerang.
There is no math or science behind that claim, nor is there a peer-reviewed University study backing the strength of my stance on it, I am just telling you, blokes who Boomerang look stupid.
Now, there are only two times in a man’s life when you will have no choice but to Boomerang:
When you are called into one by a girl, or group of girls. It’s an unenviable time, but saying no or pushing back will only bring negative energy to the group, and a guy should never bring a negative energy to a
group of girls.
So, you should just go with it.
The other is when there is a Boomerang booth at a bar or event. There’s a growing trend of these popping up, and as we head into the work Christmas party season I suspect they’ll only be more prevalent.
Companies love having a Boomerang booth in the corner, as it highlights how wacky and ‘with it’ the company and its bosses are. Props are often accompanied.
It’s a simple fact that at some stage during the night you and a group of friends or colleagues will be standing in front of this booth, zany prop in hand, looping some basic action.
In these scenarios, fellas, you should follow a few basic rules to avoid the appearance of being too into it all when you have to explain yourself to your mates the next day.
1) Stand to the back and side. Leave the center on the Boomerang to the person corralling the group, as they clearly want it the most.
2) Have the least noticeable prop.
3) Reduce dramatic movements. Large actions will draw attention to your presence in the loop, which will lead to a justifiable inquisition as to why you were so eager.
4) Allow a maximum of 3 attempts to get the Boomerang right.
Point 4 is the most crucial. Never in the history of Boomerangs has a Boomerang been successful the first time, but if you can get out after 3 attempts you can avoid physically standing there like a goof for too long, and if it still all fails you can earnestly say you tried.
What’s not ok is solo male Boomerang-ing.
It is on par with people who upload ‘adorable’ photos of themselves with a Snapchat face-filter, or people who post an unrelenting stream of shots of their kids – no one else thinks they are cute.
Lads, it’s the same here.
Guys don’t look at guys who Boomerang and think ‘He’s nailed that.’ They look at it and think, I wonder how much of a twat he looked when he filmed that.
And who did he ask to do it? And why?
Some things in the world are just meant for men, and some are just meant for women.
Boomerangs are meant for women. They make them look fun, playful and spontaneous, while guys just look like they forgot they weren’t in the privacy of their own bathroom mirror.