Matt de Groot: Here’s how to buy Christmas gifts if you’re in a new relationship

He's not just Fitzy and Wippa's newsreader or a panellist for The Morning Show, FOX Sports, and the ABC – Matt de Groot is also Be's newest columnist. He'll be taking us on a deep dive into the world of dating and relationships... from a guy's perspective.

Let me tell you about the time I gave a girl an iPad for Christmas, and got a pair of shorts in return.

It’s a worthy tale as we’re rapidly heading into the festive season, which is always an awkward time for new couples.

Gift giving may seem simple, but how much you spend says a lot about a relationship, and about you as a person.

Go too big, and they may accuse you of being too keen.

Go too small, and they will definitely accuse you of being cheap, someone with bad taste, not interested in them, or not interested enough to care. You have to get it just right.

I’ve always thought it was best to go big, early. Don’t go big always, but definitely go big early.

There is common thinking around gift-giving that if you go too big at the start, you run the risk of setting expectations too high. Rubbish.

If you can position yourself as someone willing to spoil their other half, I promise they’ll care more about you – faster - and it gives them something to brag about.

There is no substitute for the benefit you’ll gain if your other half is out there talking you up to their friends and family. Win the parents, win the war…. you know what I mean.

Now, Christmas was rolling around at an awkwardly early stage in this relationship.I’d spent the months prior listening out for clues about what things she may want or need, and heard iPad mentioned enough times that I was sure this would be the go.

It was the first year iPad’s had been released, so it was going to tick all those impressive gift-giving boxes that I like to tick.

I was also pretty sure this relationship would last, so I wanted to get something that’d make a strong statement about where I was at, while knowing if she was to under-deliver she’d have plenty of chances to make up for it.

Now to be clear, you don’t want to go large on your present every year. As I say, you want to go big, early and then gradually start to pull back. Perhaps a couples-gift, or a larger gift that can cover over a few events.

That way you have won their loyalty, and garnered your gifting reputation, but don’t need to dive deep into your credit card 3-4 times a year.

So, Christmas arrived and I couldn’t have been more excited to give her my wrapped box of technological goodness.

You know what happens from here… Picture her face when she opened a $700 iPad, when she was about to hand over a (very nice, mind you) pair of bone-coloured shorts. It may not shock you, but that relationship didn’t last too long after that.

See, the other side of the gift-giving rule book is, if the price gap is too large, it shows a fundamental misalignment in the relationship. You guys are obviously not on the same page, and the writing is already on the wall.

So in summary, kids, buy a really nice present for your partner this Christmas. You can’t lose.

But if they then give you a pair of shorts, get out, immediately.

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