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Mel Greig: I got epically single-shamed by a friend

“You’re single because no one wants you.”

Can you believe someone actually said that to me this week? And, “You need to fix yourself so you can find someone and settle”.

OK, let’s talk this through. Yes, I did find it extremely hurtful because anything that is a personal attack on you is hard, especially when they are in your life, but the reality is they don’t really know you at all.

Is it ever ok for someone to make judgements on why someone is single? Photo: Instagram
Is it ever ok for someone to make judgements on why someone is single? Photo: Instagram

This guy assumed that because I’d been single for two years and hadn’t really dated anyone since my divorce meant I was single because “no one wanted me”.

I asked him to clarify what he meant and he kept down the same path, so I just do what I do best and just took it on board and filed it in my “go fek yourself category”

Source: Giphy
Source: Giphy

Why am I single? Well that’s simple. A lack of real life human engagement. The modern dating world is all about online interaction and options. Guys won’t put in the same amount of effort or wooing because they know they have access to at least 10 girls at once and if one is too hard, they’ll just move onto the next option.

For me, there is always one thing I’ve wanted in a relationship and it’s simple: unconditional love. To feel protected, to always feel loved and supported even if I’ve accidently shat myself. Can I get that after a few swipes online? No. I’m not going to settle for anything less.

Ironically enough the same day this conversation happened was the same day I interviewed Malcolm Chenu on my 96.5 Wave FM breakfast show. He’s the author of a book called A Young Man’s Guide to Getting Some and the book blurb says it all - “How to win the girl of your dreams with respect and class in the age of sexting and swiping”.

YASSSSSSSSSS Malcolm Chenu that rhymes with menu YASSSSSSS.

I actually said this to a guy a few months ago. The banter was great and I was super keen, but he asked for a boob shot. I then responded with, “Mate, you had me and if you’d spent $20 on a bunch of flowers to show you’re decent instead of that request, you would have had kissy kissy. Now you get ZERO for being disrespectful.”

What happened to good ol' fashioned wining and dining? Photo: Instagram
What happened to good ol' fashioned wining and dining? Photo: Instagram

Malcolm makes a good point and guys please take note, “If men – of any age – only knew that behaving honourably and treating women with respect would have them swimming in it, they would all be doing it. But too many don’t. Too many guys go with lies, sleazy lines and charmless midnight texts to try to fulfil their desires.”

Ladies, please know that the reason you are single isn’t necessarily your fault. The landscape has changed, and so has the quality of men. Don’t give up though, he’s out there somewhere. I have a date next Sunday with someone who I think could be an extremely genuine and kind guy… but I’ve been fooled before, so time will tell.

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