Woman's scathing note to neighbours over 'superhumanly noisy sex'

A Sydney woman who had enough of her neighbours’ “superhumanly noisy sex”, wrote a scathing letter and slid it underneath their door in a desperate bid to put a stop to it.

Monisha, who lives upstairs from the amorous pair, decided to take things into her own hands after knocking on their door numerous times to ask them to turn their sex life volume down a notch.

“Firstly, congrats on your VERY active sex life. Keep it up. BUT It’d be super fantastic if you could do so less loudly,” she started the note.

“It genuinely sounds like your girlfriend is being tortured, and though I’m sure the opposite is true, I (and your downstairs neighbour I’m sure) am becoming far too familiar with her scream.”

A clearly disgruntled Monisha continued, saying that her door-knocking (twice now) had obviously not been enough to shame them into putting a plug in it, and she saw no other way but to put her thoughts on paper.

“I was sitting in my living room with my study group at around 9pm last night when, sure enough, the wailing started again,” she said.

“It was enough for my friends to cease the study and very awkwardly turn on the TV to drown out the noise.”

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While she says she knows they’re “probably sick of her requests” their “superhumanly noisy sex is reeeeeeeally awkward and kind of gross, to be honest”.

“I’m really impressed by your stamina but it would be beyond fantastic if you could get your lady to keep it down,” she finished the letter.

She then signed it with her name and put her apartment number for good measure.

And the letter worked a trick, with Monisha claiming the couple’s overzealous antics came to an abrupt end after she distributed it.

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