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Mel Greig: Can you ever get back together with an ex?

I’ve discovered a pattern in my 20-year rollercoaster ride of dating. With every break-up, along comes a message from an ex or a message from me to the ex questioning whether we should revive our past relationship, which raises the question “Can you really get back together with an ex?”

There’s one relationship in particular that destroyed me because I was so sure he was the one for me, and we’d spoken about marriage and babies on many occasions, even naming our future kids.

Thinking of giving an ex another go? Think again. Photo: Instagram/melgreigradio
Thinking of giving an ex another go? Think again. Photo: Instagram/melgreigradio

But out of nowhere and completely unexpectedly, I became Dean from Married at First Sight during the final commitment ceremony and he was Tracey, catching me off guard with a ruthless dumping, saying “I have a list for the future and you aren’t on it”.

Don't be the Dean in this situation. Photo: Instagram/marriedau
Don't be the Dean in this situation. Photo: Instagram/marriedau

Ouch Tracey aka ex-boyfriend, ouch.

If I rewind to that moment, I remember how much I loved him and how devastated I was.

He was my world and I always put him first with ridiculous amounts of unconditional love. It took me a good year to get over him, but I always worried that he was the one that got away, my true soulmate. I said to myself, “One day he’ll realise how good he had it and he’ll come crawling back.”

It took years, but I heard from him recently, and he did get on his hands and knees and commence the crawl. It was honestly like talking to a stranger, and I’m pretty sure he’s doing the Benjamin Button kind of thing and getting more immature with age?

After re-connecting with a few conversations, he thought that he could woo me with a dick pic. The beautiful piece of art that used to give me so much joy was now a foreign object that didn’t give me any kind of thrill. It didn’t tempt me into re-igniting our relationship at all, and there was nothing wrong with it specifically, it was what was wrong with him that was putting me off.

Do you ever look back and go WTF? What was the attraction and obsession? Why was I so sure this guy was my soulmate because I feel absolutely nothing for him now how is that possible?

Source: Giphy
Source: Giphy

Do we out-grow them? Change too much over the years? How can a connection that was so strong and real now mean nothing? No feels, no twinge of the heart - or my lady parts (legit flatlining below the waist).

If you can get back together with an ex I think that speaks volumes. If you can truly pick up where you left off and it feels like the emotions haven’t changed, then you should throw yourself head first into that love-fest.

BUT if you find yourself going back for comfort and familiarity, but you don’t feel the same spark DON’T DO IT.

Time really does heal all and some things are better left in the past.

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