Weddings are notoriously expensive, but the bride and groom aren’t the only people left footing massive bills at the end of the day.
Being part of the bridal party can also come at an eye-watering price, as this maid of honour recently found out.
She took to Mumsnet to ask if it was out of line to pull out of the bridal party after the list of expenses started piling up.
First was the bridesmaid dress – it’s something many Aussies are used to paying for, but in the UK where this woman is from, it’s traditionally bought by the bride. Then there’s an overseas hen’s party for the bride, a pre-wedding spa weekend, and she’s also been asked to contribute towards the cost of the wedding cake.
“As time has gone on this wedding seems to be getting bigger and bigger,” she explains.
The bride has 18 bridesmaids plus flower girls and page boys, and as the maid of honour, the woman is supposed to be organising all the pre-wedding activities and the accompanying finances, as well as paying her own way.
“I do not have this kind of money,” she says, “I won’t be going abroad [for the hen’s]. I don’t have the time nor quite frankly the inclination to arrange multiple events for bride to be.”
She now wants to resign from her post and let one of the other bridesmaids step up as maid of honour.
“Whilst I want to be there for her and help her as much as I can… I don’t think I’m the right person to give her the build up to her wedding that she really wants,” she says.
It’s an experience many bridesmaids can relate to, especially when the bride is keen for multiple events like an engagement party, bridal shower, kitchen tea and hen’s night.
Plus there are the expenses on the actual day like hair, makeup, transport and accommodation, that many bridal parties are also expected to foot.
The people who responded to the post on Mumsnet were sympathetic, but some were worried that pulling out would hurt her friendship with the bride.
“Could you tactfully say you are feeling anxious about the responsibility. You could suggest either she appoints a joint maid of honour?” one person suggested.
Could you tactfully say you are feeling anxious about the responsibility. You could suggest either she appoints a joint maid of honour to help or you could just step down and be bridesmaid?
“Resign. It’s going to ruin your friendship anyway if she pressures you into more madness in the months before her wedding date,” said another.
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