Mel Greig: The 10 signs that you’ve been single for way too long

I have been single for over two years now and as well as Facebook memories reminding me of my #singlelife, I’m also noticing the signs all around me in real life too.

You really do become accustomed to a particular lifestyle and when there isn’t someone else around living with you, you can often change your habits without even realising it.

The first moment I realised I’d been single for too long was when I was making the bed this morning and I noticed that it was starting to dip on one side, one side of my bed was getting an indent and the other side looked fluffy and full. I had crawled into my favourite sleeping position every night that I’d created a mould.

I started to look around to see what else had changed now that I didn’t have a partner living with me, and these are the top results of “signs I’d been single for too long”.

1. I had started to create a clothes mountain on the floor after one too many clothes tantrums and it was growing. Sixteen-year-old Mel had apparently moved into my apartment.
2. I have motivational quotes and vision boards all over the walls.
3. My pyjama bottoms have holes in the bum and I haven’t chucked them out.
4. There’s an empty wine bottle collection next to my sink.
5. My house is completely decked out with pastel colours and candles.
6. Mia my Moodle (dog) is fed the second eye fillet steak when I buy a pack of two.
7. One of my bathrooms has turned into a make-up spread and I don’t put anything away.
8. One shelf of my fridge ISN’T taken up by cans of beer.
9. I’ve stopped sleeping with my clip in hair extensions still in.
10. I no longer feel that I’m on MasterChef and have to cook up a three-course meal every night.

That last one is a big one because even though I worked just as hard, I felt I needed to ‘provide’ a healthy and substantial cooked meal every night for my partner. I actually enjoy cooking but it felt like a chore that I ‘needed’ to do, and because they were tired, I’d do the dishes too.

I grew up with my mum being the housewife and she enjoyed looking after us all and I think there’s a key point there. If your partner has grown up in the same situation, they might actually view you as ‘the mum’ so next relationship, I’m mixing things up, shared cooking and more food deliveries. #notyourslave.

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