Mel Greig: The ‘big nose’ theory every single girl needs to know

Mel Greig

This is an interesting one that has created quite the group chat on my Facebook - forget big feet to analyse the size of a man’s appendage, apparently it’s all in the size of the NOSE.

I should probably put a disclaimer in here now that I’m not discriminating against small doodles, every doodle is special in its own right but this topic of conversation is based around the larger ones.

I was at a party last weekend and I met a girl who said to me, “Mel, look around and try to pick who you think I’m going to try and pick up”.

Girls, there might be a new way to guess how big your guy might be... Photo: Instagram/melgreigradio

I proceeded to look around at the vast selection of men and assumed she’d pick the tall athletic one, so I pointed to him. She responded with, “No, I’m going to go for the one with the big nose”.

Sayyyyy what? (I have nothing against big noses, but a one-night stand is normally based on pulling the best of the best).

She proceeded to explain the ‘theory’ she had recently discovered was that guys with big or obscure shaped noses had quite large appendages compared to normal sized nose guys.

Naturally, I thought back to guys I’d been with over the years and there were two stand out guys that had large or obscure noses that had a large appendage to coincide. Damnnnn this theory could be right.

Big nose, big....? Photo: Sony

In this situation there is only one thing to do… start a group chat and see what responses you get. Here are a few of my favourites.

“Gross I can’t do big noses”
“Holy crap yesssssss, big nose and a big willy”
“Large noses are def a benefit when they are saying hello below”
“No, I haven’t experienced that”
“Damn now I need to find Pinocchio”
“I can’t say I have, but I do know the Irish were gifted at birth”

There weren’t as many people confirming the theory that I had hoped for, so what else is a girl to do but google it… “Does a big nose equate to a big willy?” ENTER


Guess what girls, there are a few blogs discussing this theory. This is actually a thing, people have researched it and written about it including guys.

Given you’re reading this on a Sunday, here’s a question: Did you pick up last night? Think back to his nose and think back to the package..?

If size does matter to you, maybe take the extra time to talk to the guy with the big nose instead of turning your nose up on him. Tag someone with a big nose. #nosebanter

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