The wrath of a woman scorned is an undeniable force, but at some point, you need to question what you are fighting for and know when to move forward. My friend is going through this battle at the moment and this is my advice to her or anyone else going through a similar situation.
Steven, my ex-husband, wasn’t the first partner to be unfaithful to me. Back when I was 18, my partner cheated on me with my best friend and then went on to date her.
I was livid, I wanted blood and I blamed her entirely and left her vile voicemails. I wanted revenge. I was angry and hurt but I wasn’t seeing reason and I couldn’t move forward while I was living with such rage.
With time you mature, and you understand that someone else’s actions don’t necessarily reflect you, and to seek revenge will only destroy you.
The reasons behind why a woman is scorned can vary too, if a partner is unfaithful or does the wrong thing to end the relationship, it’s understandable that your first reaction is to make them suffer.
But what if you choose to end the relationship, and in time realise you made a mistake, and get envious of your partner’s new life and partner, and then decide that you are bitter? In that case, you don’t get to be a scorned woman and it’s time to move on.
For me, I had every right to be a scorned woman. But that was never an option for me because I know that being bitter and focusing on him would have had an adverse reaction on me, and ‘me’ is all I needed to focus on.
To forgive? No. To be happy for him and his new partner? No. To know that it was out of my control and he had moved on and I needed to do the same? Yes.
I’m not going to sit here and pretend I didn’t research her and check in on him, but that’s a normal reaction whilst adjusting and I think an important factor because I didn’t want to see a photo for the first time on a mutual friend’s Facebook page or god forbid, run into them at a public event as our first encounter.
I hate to see women fighting the wrong fight. The more time you spend focusing on him and his new life, takes away from you starting your new life. To rediscover yourself and to know your worth.
Ask yourself: what are you fighting for and is it worth it? Is revenge and bitterness the right path? I know it hurts, I’ve been there but happiness outside of that hate is so much more powerful. Move on.
Even if you want revenge, if the hate is eating you up what will it prove to abuse them publicly or to your friends? To spend time plotting the ultimate attack? That time could be spent creating positive memories. Even if it’s hard, try to take the higher ground. It is what it is. You can’t change it. The only thing you can now control is YOU.
So, ask yourself: what kind of person do you want to be? One that uses all of your strength to move forward and create your own happiness? Or one that lives in the shadow of someone else? #bestrong #youvegotthis.
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