Is Your Wife Happily Married?

Is your partner one of the 77 per cent of women who expect their man to know when they’re angry – even when they say everything is “fine”? Image via Shutterstock

Want to know how important you are to her?

In a Match.com survey, 81 per cent of married women deemed having a happy relationship more important than their career. That craving for companionship doesn’t just bloom at the altar, either. “Whether you’re married or not, relationships, and the satisfaction tied to them, are extremely important for increasing men’s and women’s quality of life,” says anthropologist Dr Helen Fisher. Humans are social creatures, so it all boils down to forming bonds. “You don’t come home from the office to spend time with another job,” says Fisher. “Hopefully you come home to someone you can have a good time with.”

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Think you’re doing fine in the satisfied-spouse department? We uncovered stats – from our own surveys and those of noted research institutions – that may change your mind. Don’t worry: with our advice, she’ll be smiling soon.

REACH OUT
You don’t have to be extravagant to be spontaneous, says sex and relationships researcher Dr Kristen Mark. She wants to see that you care. Your move: on a night when you know her schedule is open, book a table at a restaurant she’s had her eye on, or snag tickets to an event she’s been dying to attend. “At the end of the day, women want thoughtful,” says Mark – and this gesture will show her that you’ve been paying attention.

LEAVE HER BE
She says she needs space? Start investing more in your own identity, whether it’s going out with the guys or hitting the gym, says Dr Karen Sherman, author of Marriage Magic! Giving her this breathing room not only allows her to spend her time how she pleases, but also helps your connection in the long-run. “When you create space, it increases desire,” explains Sherman. “And this desire can help the relationship grow.”

MORE IS MORE
Looking to keep sex on her brain? Put in the effort and get busy more often. “Having frequent sex leaves you craving more sex after it’s done,” says Fisher. The act itself triggers the release of healthy brain chemicals, such as dopamine, oxytocin and testosterone. This leaves her feeling closer to you and longing for more, says Fisher.

TALK IT OUT
First, don’t have sex talks where you have sex. “Avoid having this conversation in the bedroom,” says Fisher. “It’s too intimate a location and makes it too intense.” Aim for a relaxed environment, such as on a walk. When chatting, focus on the solution, not the issue. “It all comes down to wording,” says Mark. For example, instead of saying, “The positions you like are really boring me,” say “I can’t get over how sexy you look when you’re on top.” “Framing it in a positive light makes talking about sex less threatening,” says Mark.

SPOT WARNING SIGNS
Beware the silent one. “A big red flag is when she stops complaining,” says Sherman. “When she becomes apathetic, it means she doesn’t care anymore.” Other giveaways: less sex and less interest in little things, like telling you about her day or asking about yours.

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BE HER ROCK
“If her career is taking off, it’s clear she can fend for herself,” says Sherman. But she can’t give herself the emotional support she craves from you. Asking about her work, as well as giving her advice and support when she needs it – that’s something you can’t put a price on, says Sherman.