A frustrated mum-of-two is justifying turning down her boyfriend’s ‘lazy’ proposal.
Mumsnet user ‘Notsunkinyet’ took to the popular parenting forum to share her story — in a post aptly titled “Crap proposal.”
She admits she had waited two years for her boyfriend to propose but after his seemingly ‘rushed’ proposal which involved a soiled baby, moody toddler and a hectic morning, she rejected his request, asking him to try again.
“He had scribbled on a blackboard ‘do I want to marry him?’ and the ring just laid there on the table. He didn’t even ask me or give me the ring,” the mum started the post.
“He just stood there. I felt so sick. I couldn’t believe he picked up the ring the day before and did this rushed proposal at the worst time.
“I couldn’t even talk to him, hug him or take the moment in as the soaked baby was crying and my son was having a tantrum.
“It was so disappointing. There just felt like such a lack of thought, planning and effort.
“I put so much time and effort into planning surprises for him and creating personal gifts that this just felt like a massive let down.
“I said I didn’t like the ring and it was obvious that it was completely misjudged with the timing of the proposal.The
While the woman says she feels bad about her reaction to the proposal, she believes her boyfriend should have put more thought into such an important moment.
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“I wanted to know it was coming from him, that he meant it and it was meaningful and romantic. He is gutted and he knows himself he completely misjudged it,” she wrote.
“We’ve talked about it and he is going to try again with another ring, bless him. But (as selfish as this sounds) it’s been ruined for me. The surprise element has gone.
“I’m so devastated that what should have been a perfect moment between us has been ruined and I can’t get it back… But I just can’t shake off the disappointment. I’m sat downstairs in the middle of the night crying and mourning the loss of my surprise, wonderful proposal.”
While some Mumsnet users offered helpful tips to welcome a second chance, others reminded the mother that marriage isn’t about the proposal.
“You apologize to him for your reaction, say the proposal isn’t the important thing, being married to him is,” one person wrote.
“You accept the ring, sending a ring back is incredibly thoughtless and tacky, he chose it for you, you’ve said there are elements you like, you should love the reason for it and you get married, or you don’t.
“No do overs, fake surprises, you are not a princess or a Kardashian.
“He loves you enough to want to marry you, you either reciprocate that or you don’t… Your proposal wasn’t good but that’s not why you marry someone.”
Another person wanted to make sure the woman knew that marriages weren’t about fancy weddings and over-the-top proposals.
“You sound selfish and entitled, he wants to marry you and it sounds like for the right reasons. You sound like you want to get married so you can be the centre of attention in a fancy dress. Poor bloke.”
Not all comments were negative — other readers suggested she speak with her boyfriend to help the two reach the same page when it comes to emotions and expectations.
While readers on the forum seem to remain divided on the topic, the woman said she wants it to work out with her boyfriend – and she is willing to give him a second chance.
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