People decide to end their marriages for many different reasons, but while we can think of some of the most common, there are a few on the list that may surprise you.
Infidelity and lack of intimacy were two of the top ten reasons that saw women decide to get divorced, according to a new survey by NextLove.
And while they are to be expected, also on the list was boredom, mental illness and household problems.
Of the 43,000 women surveyed, 29.2 per cent said infidelity was the reason for leaving their marriages.
Another 10.9 per cent of the respondents said constant quarrelling, bickering and arguing was a key reason for leaving their husbands.
Coming in at number one on the list was a difference in life goals.
Mental Illness was sadly ranked quite high – at number five – as many couldn’t deal with the strain a partner’s illness placed on the relationship.
Physical abuse and misconduct were other serious issues that saw women leave their marriages, at number eight and six respectively.
Household problems and financial stress rounded out the top ten.
Couples therapist Isiah McKimmie says while she is not surprised by the reasons many women cited, most of them didn’t really show the whole picture.
She believes the thing that many of the reasons have in common is an underlying “lack of connection, lack of effort or desire to change, and communication issues”.
“For example, while quarrels, household problems, different goals and money problems appear to be the issue, it’s often that couples are struggling to understand each other’s perspective and work on it together, that impacts the relationship,” Isiah tells Be.
The key is to try and work on the issues together and take the practical steps needed to make a change.
“Many of these challenges can be overcome with the right support,” Isiah tells us.
“I’ve seen many couples – some of whom weren’t sure they wanted to stay in their relationship or thought it might be too late to save – overcome these difficulties and go on to have healthy, harmonious relationships again.
“However if someone is in a situation of domestic violence, reach out to domestic violence support services such as 1800Respect. Some mental health issues can also be difficult to overcome.”
10 list of reasons for divorce:
- Different goals with life
- Constant quarrels
- Lack of intimacy
- Mental illness
- Physical abuse
- Household problems
- Money problems
If you are concerned about the mental health of yourself or a loved one, seek support and information by calling Lifeline 13 11 14.
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