A guide for Japanese tourists visiting Scotland warns people not to approach men in football shirts, expect efficient service or be alarmed by the lack of umbrellas.
The Insider's Guide To Scotland is published in Japanese and sold in Edinburgh.
It advises tourists to stay away from the "weird" Lorne sausages that Scots can't get enough of and avoid anyone wearing a blue and green football shirt.
Tips include never referring to kilts as skirts or mistakenly call a Scottish person English, as well as steering clear of council estates.
Tourists are told to prepare themselves for a lesser standard of service than they're used to.
"Please do not expect to have the same quick, polite and accurate service here to compare with Japanese service at shops, restaurants and hotels," the guide reads.
It also explains that many Scottish folk don't arm themselves with umbrellas – in case it's a startling realisation for ultra-organised Japanese travellers.
"When it rains, it seems only a handful of people use umbrellas in Scotland. That puzzles Japanese quite a lot because in Japan people would carry umbrellas all the time or leave the spare ones at the office for sudden showers."
The guide does have a few tips on what you should do in Scotland – including getting "merrily drunk" on Scotch whiskey, eating ginger marmalade and using the word "aye".