A disgruntled traveller has penned a droll open letter to Jetstar after being seated next to a person he referred to as “an infant hippopotamus”.
Travelling from Perth to Sydney, blogger Rich Wisken said he paid $25 for the space of an exit row seat, but was instead pinned to his seat by his fellow passenger.
"Pinned to my seat by a fleshy boulder, I started preparing for a 127 Hours-like escape. Thankfully though, the beast moved slightly to his left, which allowed me to stand up, walk to the back of the plane and politely ask the cabin crew to be seated elsewhere”, he wrote.
Despite pleas of relocation to cabin crew, who informed him that seats at the rear of the plane were reserved for crew, Mr Wisken returned to his original seat.
“It was then I realised that my fate was sealed. I made my way back to Jabba the Hutt and spent the remainder of the flight smothered in side-boob and cellulite, taking shallow breaths to avoid noxious gas poisoning.”
Just before landing, Mr Wisken made his way to the back of the plane to find the reserved crew-only seats occupied by non-crew members.
He penned the letter seeking compensation for “physical pain and mental suffering caused by being enveloped in human blubber for four hours”.
Two days after his nightmarish flight, Mr Wisken was due to travel from Sydney to Melbourne but the connecting flight was cancelled due to engineering requirements. His rescheduled flight the following day was also cancelled.
On the third day, his flight was delayed by two hours, but ultimately departed.
Jetstar emailed Mr Wisken offering a $100 voucher as compensation. He posted a response on the Jetstar Facebook page, but it was removed by the company.
In a follow up email to Jestar, Mr Wisken wrote:
“Awesome work, Jetstar! Two of my flights in the past two days have been cancelled. You're so lucky that my favourite pastime is wasting both time and money getting to and from airports. Imagine how annoyed someone who doesn't LOVE wasting time and money would feel about this situation. Man, I'd hate to be that guy...”
Mr Wisken has vowed never to fly Jetstar again.