Travellers: whatever happened to common decency?

It all started as we were prepping for takeoff. The plane was actually taxing down the runway when I heard the guy behind me talking to himself. At least, that’s what I assumed he was doing, because no-one is dumb enough to take an international phone call while vertical, right?

Wrong. Not only did he accept the call, he proceeded to rant at the receiver in a very loud American accent.

“I swear, if you get in your car right now, we are done,” he shouted as the plane’s wheels folded under itself. “We’ve been through this before. You need to stop drinking and driving.”

We were now 15,000 feet in the air, but no-one said anything for fear he might flip completely.

I was in two minds: on one hand, his argument was valid. On the other, since when is it ok to air your dirty laundry on a flight, while also endangering the lives of your fellow passengers by mucking about with the plane signal?

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He finally hung up and things calmed down – for about two minutes, when I felt a repeated jabbing at the back of my head. I realised he was choosing a movie from his inflight entertainment with a little more enthusiasm than was necessary. When the flight attendant asked if she could help, he angrily demanded she fix his television. Two minutes later, he was complaining to her about the lack of wifi onboard the plane - something that was completely out of her control, yet he felt the need to make it her problem anyway.

Moments after that, he started sneezing. Most normal people would get up and find a tissue, but not this guy. He spent the entire flight openly sneezing at the back of my head. Offers of tissues did not help.

It all got me thinking, since when is it ok to get on a flight and check your manners at the door? When did a plane become the go-to place for bad behaviour? And won’t somebody think of the flight attendants?!

A quick office poll revealed I was definitely not alone in my experience. One fellow Be writer revealed a guy on her flight had tried to steal whiskey from the drinks trolley, and was so aggressive the flight attendant asked if she could be a witness if things got too out of hand.

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Another claimed a similar story of a guy who got so drunk he vomited all over himself and passed out – and was later spotted wearing a towel instead of pants. Others joined in with tales of fellow passengers who had neglected to shower before a flight, or waking up to find that the passenger beside them had fallen asleep…unapologetically, in their lap.

They say travel opens the mind and is one of life’s best educators – but when I think back to my fellow passengers, I wonder how that could possibly be true.

I have only one plea to those of you who think it’s ok to treat a plane like it’s your living room: please remember how common decency actually works, and then actually practice it. Quit fighting with your neighbour over the armrest. Don’t order that eighth vodka. And for the love of god, please pack some tissues.

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