Most people know that when a girl says she’s ‘fine’, she is anything but. Youtuber Cian Twomey hits the nail on the head with his video about what girls are truly thinking when they say they’re ‘fine.’
Meanwhile, Yahoo tracked down Cian’s alter ego Emily to give us a little dating advice, since she seems to be the girlfriend of the year. This is what she had to say …
Hello to all you Yahoo peoples and welcome to Emily’s extravagant advice for the elegant and poor.
Yahoo! has asked me to write a dating column and I just couldn’t say no (also because they paid me, so this is one step closer to me becoming the Beyoncé of the column-writing world.)
I have asked my passionate and infatuated fans to send me some questions they would like for me to answer by providing 100% effective and qualified advice.
(DISCLAIMER: Emily has no idea what she’s talking about and we at Yahoo!7 recommend you do not take any advice from Emily.)
So yeah, here we go…
Samantha from Coffs Harbour, Australia asks:
Q: Hi Emily, when I was a kid I always dreamt of becoming a dentist. I should hopefully pass all of my dental school exams at the end of this year. My question is, did you always want to be an Internet star as a kid? Or did you aspire to something different?
A: Hi Sam, super cute name. Congrats on nearly passing. If you fail the exams, just read this again, only don’t read the “Congrats” part. When I was eight years old, I would sit on the floor, watching the TV and I remember specifically seeing an advert for some anti-dandruff shampoo. I remember seeing the woman in the shower almost orgasmically applying the shampoo to her scalp as if it were a bloody sex scene. Then it hit me, I realised that she wasn’t some freaky person who got off to shampoo. I realised she was an ACTRESS pretending to be some freaky person who got off to shampoo. She honestly deserved an Oscar. Anyway, yeah, my fake orgasms suck so I couldn’t make it as an actress – so I ended up becoming an Instagram model instead. So, no, it didn’t work out for me as well as I had planned.
Georgina from Perth, Australia asks:
Q: Emily, I will keep this short and sweet. When should my boyfriend propose to me? We’ve been together six years now and I’m worried that he will leave me for some other person. Thanks!
A: SIX YEARS?! Oh, Georgina my little darling. Tell your boyfriend to book a trip to Paris, wine and dine at the Eiffel Tower, take candid photos of each other, kiss, hug, cuddle and then break his leg so he has no choice but to get down on one knee for you. God bless, babe.
Lindsey from Cairns, QLD asks:
Q: Hi Emily, what are your opinions on boys who wear makeup?
A: Well, if you strip away the crazy hair and high-pitched voice you’ll notice that Lindsey I am, in fact, a boy. I wear makeup from time to time so it helps to distinguish between Cian and I (we’re the same person, remember?)
So yeah, my answer is… I think if you’re good at it and you enjoy doing it, why shouldn’t you? I mean, I’m sure if a woman has an interest in football, wrestling or cars, she’s not going to appreciate it if you question her hobbies. So why do the same with boys?
Cian is artistic and I worry that one day he’ll come out of the bedroom with a better-winged eye than me and I’m petrified to see the day.
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