Ever told a white lie to someone you were dating? Chances are, you have! Many people believe that since "all is fair in love and war," it's OK to fudge the truth about weight, income, age, or past sexual history. This is especially true in the modern world of internet dating.
But are these white lies really so harmless? I think not. While I certainly believe that everyone should keep a little mystery in their relationship, I don't recommend that you base a relationship on untruths.
Consider this: someone who lies about their income to look more successful may think they're doing no wrong. And yet if that relationship progresses to marriage, their partner might be in for a shock -- and if this shock includes a horrible credit score or piles of debt, a divorce could be imminent. Someone who is truly interested in you will look beyond your current money problems, so go ahead and be honest. You might be surprised at how much your honesty is appreciated!
White lies can also be very dangerous when it comes to sexual histories. Many men feel pressured by society to increase the number of their conquests, and many women feel pressured by society to decrease their number. Both of these attitudes are wrong. The only question about sexual histories that should be asked is, "Have you been tested for STDs recently?" I would certainly hope the answer to that question is 100% honest ... no "white" lies allowed here! Beyond matters of health, sexual histories do not need to be explored, especially early on in a relationship. Some things are best left private -- including that time you joined the Mile High Club!
Just remember, honesty is always the best policy. White lies can affect the outcome of an otherwise healthy relationship. This is especially true when dating online, since little white lies can often snowball into completely false personas. Be upfront with your partner about what you view as your "flaws" ... you might be surprised to learn that they don't view them as flaws at all!
Get Dr. Laura Berman's customized advice for you: