A healthy relationship means staying out of your partner’s drawers

In the annals of relationships and marriage, it’s rare to find any human coupling that doesn’t have at least one contentious issue (or a dozen) between partners.

Finances, mismatched libidos, emotional distance — big issues like these can sometimes send someone to the couch or, sadly, to the lawyer’s office. This is unfortunate but also understandable. But what if one of those issues is … cargo shorts? Really?

In a recent Wall Street Journal article, a handful of couples are profiled wherein the wife, fed up with her husband’s choice in leisure wear — in this case, cargo shorts — decides it’s time to just throw away his clothes. As amusing as that may sound to some, we still must regard such passive-aggressive behaviour in a spouse as suspicious.

RELATED: Are you over or under? What the average number of sexual partners for men and women should be
RELATED: This is the ideal relationship age gap, according to experts

Even more troubling are the ideas of being kicked out of your own bedroom to sleep on a backache-inducing couch and the even more extreme measure of a marriage going to the ropes, all over a pair of shorts. The health of relationships like this must be questioned.

Thankfully, there are plenty of women outside the crowd polled in the Wall Street Journal article who agree. “I wouldn’t be here to tell the story if I threw away my man’s clothes,” Ty Alexander, a Brooklyn-based style and beauty expert, tells Yahoo Style. “He can wear all the ugliness he wants. Just not with me.”

“I prefer the route of constant mockery and shaming,” says Stephanie Layser, an advertising consultant living in New York City. “Eventually they just want me to shut the f*** up. Then again, I think my boyfriend’s Pokémon T-shirts are adorable, so I’m not the best judge of what’s fashionable.”

Even a few experts we reached out to tend to agree that these reactions to perceived closet crimes can be more harmful than helpful.

“Women going behind their husband’s backs and throwing things out … maybe that’s not the best thing,” agrees Marni Kinrys, a Los Angeles-based dating and relationship expert.

Kinrys coaches under the banner of the Wing Girl Method and specialises in analysing the man’s perspective. She advises women in a cargo-short crisis to approach things similarly: “I’m not going to say, ‘I hate these shorts, I don’t want you wearing them,’” she says.

“Because I know that what that man is hearing is ‘You’re not doing something right, you’re making me unhappy, and I’m not attracted to you.’ Especially if there’s other things going on in the relationship.”

Beyond the simple disrespect of taking it upon yourself to pillage a spouse’s closet or drawers, there’s also an obvious level of transparency that’s being avoided. “Honest communication is always the best tactic,” says Kinrys. “Honesty with tact.”

And, sure, maybe that honest, open conversation has already occurred and the hubby refuses to let go of the cargo shorts. Maybe he has even gone to the extreme of upping his game into denim cargo-short territory, as detailed in the Wall Street Journal article.

But that doesn’t mean you should go ahead and toss out part of his wardrobe. Instead, experts agree, that means it’s time to up your own game by encouraging a positive, constructive makeover, emphasising the benefits and staying away from threats and negative reinforcements.

Style expert Megan Collins, who operates the Style Girlfriend website and consultancy, advises a more positive form of proactivity. “If you feel that strongly about his wardrobe, then get involved before he buys something you hate,” Collins tells Yahoo Style.

“At the store, gently steer him in the direction of brands or trends you want to see him wearing, and pay compliments when he tries things on that you like. Enlist a salesperson for support and backup if he doubts your ability to stay impartial.”

Kinrys agrees. “If you want your man to wear other things — and he may not be one to look through GQ — maybe go shopping with him and then show him the response you have to better clothing,” such as saying how hot he looks in that outfit, she says. “He’ll be like, ‘Oh, that’s great feedback! I’m going to wear these from now on!’”

Whether it’s cargo shorts, Crocs, 30-year-old boxer shorts, or you name it, a fashion faux pas does not warrant refusing to embrace open, direct, constructive communication in a relationship — along with compromise. To put it bluntly, stay out of your partner’s drawers.

Want more celebrity, entertainment and lifestyle news? Follow Be on Facebook,Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram.