Mel Greig: 'Oops, I forgot to have sexytime'

Yes... I forgot... for SIX MONTHS. Is that normal? Have you ever been so busy that you just forgot to take the time to do the hokey pokey? And not from a lack of options... strangely enough it’s not that hard to convince a guy to offer up his services (insert sarcastic face emoji) I didn’t realise I had gone six bloody months without getting intimate until I looked at my calendar.

In my defence, I was busy organising my day of action against cyber-bullying and a high tea in NSW for World Endometriosis Day and put all of my energy into that and my breakfast radio job... BUT SIX MONTHS (insert shocked face emoji).

This now needs to be analysed because I love a bit of rumpy pumpy and it is true about our sex drive increasing over the age of 30 so how has 6 months just gone past without me thinking about it? Without caring? Could it be that there is more to life than just getting laid or dating? Again, this hiatus hasn’t been intentional I just simply forgot. Who does that?

I’m about to be divorced, shouldn’t a larger percentage of my focus be on picking up as many handsome men as I can before I get back into a committed relationship? I feel that I’ve wasted six months of precious rumpy pumpy time... or maybe I don’t deserve to get laid because I refer to sex as ‘rumpy pumpy’?

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I told a girlfriend about this article and she said, ‘Aren’t you embarrassed to tell everyone that you haven’t been laid for six months?’ and the answer is no... in fact I couldn’t give a rat’s ass because I’m happy with the way I’ve spent the past six months, I’ve spent time working on myself including a 10 week detox, I’ve focused on my health, on my work and on making a difference and if the sacrifice has ended up being a lack of sexytime then I can deal with that.

There are no rules and we shouldn’t ever feel that ‘we have to do things’ that something must be wrong with us if we don’t fit into the social mould of what people deem to be ‘normal’ I’ve got plenty of girlfriends that don’t make picking up guys a priority when they are busy, I know it’s important which is why I’m shocked that I’ve actually gone six months without it and that’s a first for me but it doesn’t change who I am in the slightest and I find it quite refreshing and empowering because I’m in a position of ‘freedom’ being single and having the power to do what I want when I want... but it didn’t end up being a priority... rather than chase guys and creep through my likes... I dedicated my energy into far more important things and I love it.

But in saying that... I am off to America in a month and I have tickets to the Magic Mike Strip Show in Vegas... so maybe one night in Vegas will make up for the past six months #qualityoverquantity (insert cheeky monkey face emoji).

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