Mum's mean note about son's special needs friend

One mum has been left utterly horrified after her son returned home from a playdate with a friend, bearing an awful note explaining why he wouldn’t be welcome back.

Lacey Brandenburg is mum to son Ashton, who she reveals “suffers from intellectual disability (mental retardation), autism, cognitive disorder and adhd”.

The Iowa-based mum was nearly left in tears after another parent sent her a note, calling out Ashton’s play with her son, criticising the fact he was “playing with toys that you would expect a younger child than himself to play with as well as the cartoons he asked to watch were that of a 3 – 5 year old”.

Lacey posted the note on Facebook, revealing she and husband Jason were feeling heartbroken. Photo: Facebook
Lacey posted the note on Facebook, revealing she and husband Jason were feeling heartbroken. Photo: Facebook


Lacey posted the note in full, which read:

Lacey,

I am sorry but after speaking with my husband we don’t feel that your son playing with ours is such a good idea.

While he was over here on Xmas break we noticed he was playing with toys that you would expect a younger child than himself to play with as well as the cartoons he asked to watch were that of a 3 – 5 year old.

We want our child to play with toys and watch television for his age, not younger or older than him.

The hand flapping is a concern we don’t want our son to learn to do that!

We ask the boys don’t speak or play together and keep a distance from each other at school.

We know playing with toys is one thing but we want our son to play with toys appropriate for his age not those of a younger child.

We want him to watch cartoons and TV of his age as well, Ashton was watching Bugs Bunny, Pokemon and Tom and Jerry, those are cartoons of a younger child.

I know he has a disability but we feel his disability may hold our son’s level of comperhansion [sic] life, his communication, socialization and learning level may be at risk if playing and being around Ashton continues.

On the other hand Ashton was very well behaved, he said please/thank you, and he picked up while here.

Please keep our son away from ours so ours are not picking up the idea that playing with toys or watching cartoons younger than his age is ok.

Lacey's post has seen an outpouring of support for the family. Photo: Facebook
Lacey's post has seen an outpouring of support for the family. Photo: Facebook

Heartbroken Lacey admits she posted the note in a bid to show what parents with special children needs face.

“I dont understand how u comprehend not only giving the child a letter like this is ok but how u consider this type of parenting is ok,” she wrote on her Facebook post.

“Keep in mind this is the one friend Ashton has at school there arent any others and its because of the way parents teach their children.”

'This note is being posted to teach people what parents with special needs children face and what they deal with!
'This note is being posted to teach people what parents with special needs children face and what they deal with!

The note has since gone viral with over 8000 shares and countless supportive comments.

“How can someone actually put this to paper,” wrote one. “Worst thing is she had an opportunity to teach her kids a valuable lesson about acceptance and now her kids will be just as horrid as her.”

“My son is on the spectrum,” added another. “He is funny, smart, and people love to be around him. By not allowing your children to play together, these people will miss out on their child learning how to be a good human being, because they obviously are not teaching him that.”

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