Mel Greig : "That time I text my male friend to ask for his sperm"

After recently splitting from her husband, Mel Greig is back on the dating bandwagon and ready to document her single gal experiences exclusively for Be.

Most of us are guilty of sending a drunken text message. Followed by that next-day cringe worthy moment reading back through your texts and going ‘WHY DID I SEND THAT?’ I am guilty as charged… on too many different occasions.

I should probably purchase a clip on breathalyzer that locks me out of my phone when I’ve had one too many.

Drinking and texting is not as sexy as you think.

However it can lead to some interesting conversations. A few weeks ago I did my best one yet.

Are you ready for this? I sent the following text to my friend of 10 years.

(Note: we’ve never hooked up).

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“Sooooo can I just steal your sperm in 12 months and we can have communal share babies?”

Yep, I just asked my male friend to donate his sperm. I was a few wines in and I was starting to fret about my future. Soon to be divorced, and a sufferer of endometriosis, my baby making timeline is diminishing quickly.

I had gone from planning on implanting an embryo with my husband in June, to planning my divorce and creating a food baby of comfort food. I didn’t want a sperm donor that I hadn’t met and if I’m going to re-marry and have children I was looking at a 3-5 year timeline to make that happen.

So clearly, the smartest thing for me to do was scroll through my phone and pick my own sperm donor. #awkies.

What started as a cringe worthy text could actually turn into the perfect Plan B for me.

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The next morning I sent an apology text and because he’s a legend he was totally fine about my boozy message.

But then I thought about it, and said to him: “Actually, I think I’m half serious – what do you think?” He was not opposed to the idea. He’d been single for years himself and set in his ways and if the rules were laid out from the start this could actually be a viable option for both of us.

Is this arrangement possible? Could we have a baby or two and make it work as parents, but not a couple? We both get to be a mum and dad and there would be no messy divorce or custody battle on our hands because everything would be agreed on at the start and the relationship would stay platonic and just be that of two loving parents – who don’t love each other.

Am I completely crazy for making this my Plan B? Wouldn’t it be better to do it this way instead of getting a sperm donor and trying to be a single mum?

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The thought of being single and preggers is really confronting. I have seen a few incredible friends go through doing it alone, and I take my hat off to them – and other women – who go down this path. Sometimes they have no other option.

Those I know found it empowering, but maybe this crazy drunken plan could work?

So is the plan going ahead for me? It’s an option, one that needs more thought and discussion. When you go through a separation everything you thought you wanted changes, I was so sure I wanted to be a mum and have the white picket fence, but now I just don’t know. Maybe fate has a different plan for me.

I have a Latvian tattoo on my wrist that says “Saja Bridi” it means “In this moment”. All we can worry about is today because we can’t control the future, especially when it involves other people that can change your course.

I just need to let this journey continue for a while longer, soon enough I’ll need to make a decision though because my endometriosis likes to control my reproductive system.

In my next column I’ll talk about what it’s like to date someone with endometriosis.

Hopefully by then I would have stopped texting my friends asking for their sperm (insert awkward and embarrassed emoji).

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