Come on women, why aren’t you making the first move

Matt de Groot

An email arrived in my inbox during the week that got my attention.

It claimed that “60% of young Australian women have missed out on romantic opportunities because they failed to make the first move.”

The stat is from Bumble, the dating app where women make contact first, and while I have no idea who was surveyed, what they meant by ‘romantic opportunities’, or how they would’ve know that, I’m not one to question the majesty of a good stat.

It’s 2017, people.

We are in the age of empowerment; where women can now drive in Saudi Arabia, and they should be the President of the United States, and yet when it comes to saying ‘Hi’ to a guy at a bar, we’ve seen very little progress in the area of gender-equality.

It’s high-time that changed.

Do women need to make the first move more? Photo: Getty

Every guy will tell you that the moment you lock eyes on a girl you’d really like to talk to, is a bloody annoying one.

You’re confronted by two choices, a) try to ignore it, knowing that regardless it’ll consume the bulk of your subconscious.

Or b) you act on it, and thus open a whole new box of struggles. ‘Would she want me to come over? She’s probably taken. What if she’s not keen? Heck, what if she is keen? Should I take her a drink? Should I take a wingman? Should I maybe just crawl into a hole?’

Whether you act on it or not, it’s a tough time in a young man’s life.

But it seems only fair that it should be a tough time in everyone’s life.

The humiliation of rejection shouldn't only be the domain of men, Matt says. Photo: Getty

Why should guys be the only ones who experience the emotional roller-coaster that is figuring out if they have the courage to go up and talk to a girl.

We should all get to enjoy the relief of being shot down to your face and earnestly going back to your friends knowing it wouldn’t have worked anyway, and regardless, it’s their loss.

Last week I wrote an article about how there are still good, single guys out there, and yet I’ve been hit all week with women who are keen to tell me that’s not the case.

Now I’m reading that 60% of women thought things would have been different if they made the first move.

The Bumble stats email had another one: Only 29% of women endorse that men should make the first move.


It seems we’re all in agreement. Men and women should be sharing this inglorious bastard and making the first move together.

Enough with the ‘waiting for the guy to do it’ rubbish. All the single ones are apparently garbage anyway, so let’s all get out there and start being shot down - together.

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What do you think of Matt's advice? Photo: Getty

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